I just had a very strange phone call here at work. It was my pacemaker clinic asking if I was OK. Sure - why wouldn't I be? Our records show that your pacemaker shocked you at 1:23 am on May 27. HUH? My pacemaker didn't shock me - I would have felt that. The technician said that if I were sleeping - I might not have registered the shock. WOW! I do know that the pacemaker had been doing a funny sort of hiccup thing - and if it hadn't stopped, I would have called them this morning anyway. She said that sometimes after a shock - there is a problem with enough "juice" getting to the pacemaker, and that can cause the hiccup. But as long as I wasn't having chest pain, or problems breathing - there shouldn't be anything to worry about - and unless I had those problems, they probably wouldn't need to see me. But just to be sure - she was going to check with the doctor, and let him see everything.
The scary part of this is that I never, ever feel the arrhythmia. And if I hadn't had the pacemaker - I might never have awakened from that episode.
It is easy for me NOT to think about my heart - out of sight, out of mind, as they say. I do not sit around worrying about it - I do not let it absolutely govern my life - I have had to make adjustments sometimes, slowing down, making choices about how much I can actually do - but I seldom ever think specifically about my heart. I don't expect that to change even now.
It does make me regret even more that I have not always taken care of myself the way I should. I'm making a lot of improvements. I really and truly do feel better, in fact, one person described me as "vibrant" - but I still have a long way to go. And I cannot completely undo the damage that I have done by neglecting my weight for so long.
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