Driven to Distraction

Today, on the ride into work, there was a work truck that was all over the road.  As we passed him in the HOV lane, the reason was obvious – the driver was trying to get something out of cooler that was located between the two front seats.  There were several other people in the vehicle who COULD have helped, but the person in the front passenger seat was sleeping.  I don’t know what was so important for this man to get – but he nearly caused several accidents, and I was glad when we were safely around him.

Distracted drivers are a leading cause of automobile accidents.  It takes only a fraction of a second for a car to swerve out of lane – and into another vehicle.  A driver can be distracted visually – looking at anything that takes their eyes off the road.  A driver can be distracted cognitively – engaging in anything that diverts their attention from the task of driving.  And a driver can be distracted manually – having one or both hands off the wheel.  When a driver is distracted in two or more of these areas, the chances of an accident increase exponentially.

Several years ago, the local newspaper ran an article listing what drivers were doing when police pulled them over for reckless driving.  Some of the things on the list were expected – eating, talking on a cell phone, and reading a map.  There were several grooming items on the list – either shaving or putting on make-up.  Dealing with children or pets while driving – also on the list.  My personal favorite was a lady who was putting on pantyhose – while driving a car above the speed limit on a major highway!  (Seriously???  I have difficulty putting on pantyhose under the best of circumstances.  I can’t imagine trying to do it while driving a car at 65+ mph on a crowded Atlanta interstate highway.  It is possible in doing that one would have both feet and both hands engaged – what exactly is guiding the car??)

Now, what does this have to do with my journey following weight loss surgery?  Well, I think that one of the biggest contributing factors to my issues with food and with weight has been distraction.  Historically, when I eat – I am doing a myriad of other things – and NOT concentrating on the food I am putting in my mouth.  Sometimes, I was distracted visually – I must confess, even today, most of my meals are eaten in front of the computer or the television.  I’m distracted cognitively – eating when I’m upset, or bored, or lonely.  And just like these distractions can cause an automobile accident – they can also cause a “diet” accident.  It is far too easy to shovel food in my mouth when I’m not paying attention.  A “few” chips becomes half the bag.  Two cookies become ten cookies.  A handful of nuts becomes the whole container.

I am doing a little better with this.  If I do want chips, for example, I pour some out into a small container – and put the bag away.  I’m less inclined to eat more than a few that way, especially since getting more means getting up and going into another room again.  I think about my food more – and enjoy it more.   Eating with a plan and a purpose takes discipline and takes practice. 

Using the Pool

I officially made it to the pool last night – to start the exercise program the doctor wants me on for my knee.  I walked and did a variety of leg lifts in the pool for a solid 30 minutes, then walked home.  Boy, am I sore this morning!  The walking home was part of the issue – but I haven’t been doing ANYTHING for a while, so it is not just my knee hurting this morning.  It is a good hurt, though; I don’t mind being sore when I know that it will soon pass.  I plan to head back tonight and start the whole thing over again.  It feels good to get back to doing exercise.

I need to decide what I am going to do after September when the pool in our subdivision closes for the season.  Once I have the momentum going – I really and truly do not want to get out of the habit.  I may have to look at the Y or some other indoor pool.  If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know!  In the meantime, I will be going down to the pool most evenings, provided it isn’t raining.  If anyone would like to join me, just call me.  I’m still looking for a used bicycle – to make the trip back and forth from the pool a little easier. 

At first, I was a little self-conscious about doing all these exercises in the pool.  Traditionally, the time that I am there, is a time when families come.  But no one was paying any attention to me – I was in my own little section – and I just did my thing.  And I decided that my health is much more important than what other people are thinking about me – if they even think about me at all.  I am working hard on my weight, and consequently, my health – and that is what really matters.

I had a nice compliment yesterday.  I was standing in my boss’ office, and she said that I’m just getting skinnier and skinnier.  I thanked her, and then told her that the scales really didn’t agree with her.  She said that not losing weight doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m not getting skinnier.  The exercise is creating muscle – and things are definitely rearranging.  That makes this plateau a little easier to bear – knowing that the people who are watching still see progress. 

Parent for a Day

Start with some good friends who are taking a much-deserved two-week vacation.  Add an older sister who has to work all day on a Sunday.  Mix in a grandmother who has to be out of town.  And you’re left with a 13-year-old boy who was going to be all by himself for a very long Sunday.  There is no doubt in my mind that he would have been okay all by himself – but we let him spend Saturday night with us, took him to church and lunch afterwards, then spent all day on Sunday with him.

Being a parent – even if it is only for a day – is a LOT different from not being a parent.  For one thing, you have to be much more aware.  When we’re all together, it is Mom and Dad’s job to keep track of him – to make sure he is doing what he is supposed to do – and saying what he is supposed to say.  I never give it a thought.  But when I’m in charge – all of a sudden, I can’t just float in the pool – I have to keep an eye on him.  (That would be all I need – to have him running around the pool, and fall and crack open his head or break an arm, just in time for the folks to come back.)  When we are eating out with friends after church – I have to keep one ear on his conversation – to make sure he is being respectful.  Our friends have done a GREAT job!  This young man is sweet and funny, respectful and thoughtful.  Our job was really pretty easy this weekend.  But I’m still tired this morning – it is very different being a parent, even for a day.

It is kind of like the difference in going on a diet and making changes in my lifestyle.  A diet is a lot of work, but at the end of the day, it is still only temporary.  I can work hard at a diet, just like I worked hard at being a one-day parent, but eventually I’m done – and I quit working hard at the diet, just like I send my friend’s son home.  But making the necessary changes in my lifestyle is like being a parent full-time.  The responsibility doesn’t end quickly.  It is a long-term commitment, through the good times and the hard times; I might be able to take a little break, but I can’t turn my back on it.  And with a diet, I might feel good about it at the end of the day – like it felt good to be with my friend’s son.  But my one day of parenting will never give me the satisfaction of knowing that I raised my child to be an adult – taking responsibility for his actions – making wise choices – and becoming a person worthy of respect.  And my temporary diet will not give me dramatic, lasting results.

If had to choose the one-day parent – or the lifetime parent – I would definitely choose the lifetime.  And if I have to choose between the quickie diet, and the changes in lifestyle, I am choosing the changes in lifestyle.

“For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality.  When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: ‘Death has been swallowed up in victory.’  ‘Where, O death, is your victory?  Where, O death, is  our sting?’”  (1 Corinthians 15:53-55, NIV)

Advancing in Yoga

When I first started out in yoga (the end of April 2010), I was so frustrated.  There was so much that I could not even come close to doing.  I couldn’t touch my toes or the floor from a standing position.  I couldn’t touch my forehead to my knees in ANY position.  I couldn’t hold any of the balance positions.  Last night, I actually looked around some while doing the class, and with the exception of the teacher, and maybe one other person, I was doing everything better than most people in the class were.  Understand, yoga is NOT about competing with other people; it’s about going further MYSELF.  I was able to put my hands flat on the floor from a standing position.  I could touch my forehead to my knees in every position we did last night. 

My teacher was right – with practice, I am able to do many of the things I first thought impossible.  Granted, my form may not be perfect – (OK – DEFINITELY IS NOT PERFECT!) – and I may wiggle when I try to balance – but I can stretch now like never before.  I still get a little dizzy when I’m upside down – (thanks to some of my meds) – but my heels are firmly planted on the ground in the Downward Facing Dog pose.  And last night, I was even able to do some of the poses requiring me to be on my knee – that is the first time since starting yoga that I have been able to do that!   The new meds are definitely working. 

I’m thankful that my teacher kept encouraging me when I didn’t feel like I was making any progress – because now the progress is measureable.  I’m grateful that she is so committed to yoga – because there have been times I went to class just for her – and now I hate to miss it.  Persistence and practice have certainly paid off!

So here’s to Sun Salutation, Relaxation Pose, and all of the other poses in yoga!  Can’t wait until we do it again!

Serafina

Serafina is our youngest cat, and the only other female in the house.  Every night, she plays a game with me.  She recognizes the signs that I am getting ready for bed:  I go into the bathroom, I take my pills, I check my alarm, and then I move the decorative pillows off the bed.  The next step will be to turn down the covers and crawl into bed.  Every night, she crouches on top of the covers with her back to me, pretending like she doesn’t see me getting ready for bed, and like she doesn’t know that I am going to cover her up with the comforter in just a few seconds.  Every night I cover her up – and then she just lies there, purring.   This cracks me up; neither of the other cats wants to be covered up at all, unless they are burrowing under something to hide.  Serafina seems to enjoy this little game – which is further enhanced when I take a few minutes to play with her under the covers.  She pounces on my hand or bats at my fingers, purring noisily the entire time.

During the night, she waits for me to get up to go into the bathroom.  Then she jumps on the bed, and curls up to “sleep” in the warm place I have just vacated.  She feigns indignation when I come back a minute later, and she loudly protests when I pick her up and move her, because, after all, that is MY BED, and I want to sleep. 

Maybe one of the reasons I enjoy these times with Serafina so much is because I have behaved just like her so many times.  I “know” what I am doing when I put food into my mouth, but I “pretend” that it is something else.  I “know” when my eating is out of control, but I “pretend” that everything is perfectly normal.  I “know” that the overeating causes so many health issues, but I “pretend” that I am truly OK.  Pretending is fine when you are a child, or a cat, and even sometimes as an adult.  But when the “pretend” becomes justification for things I am doing to my body, it’s not so good anymore.  I will keep playing the games with Serafina, but I refuse to play games with my health and my life anymore.

“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.  When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.  For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face.  Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”  1 Corinthians 13:10-12

(Sorry I didn’t post yesterday.)

Of Fireworks and Thunderstorms

Yesterday was the 4^th of July, and traditionally, people like to watch a fireworks display on this holiday.  I love fireworks!  Everyone “oohs” and “aahs” over the colorful demonstration.  However, many events in our area were cancelled or postponed last night due to thunderstorms, some of them quite severe.

Dave had to work last night, so I was home.  I probably could have made arrangements to go see some fireworks with some friends, but I was tired from a busy weekend, and chose just to chillax at home.  That was probably just as well – I’m not sure if the local fireworks happened or not.  We had several thunderstorms come through last night, and from inside my house it was difficult to tell if the noise was coming from the heavens or from someone’s backyard.  It didn’t matter where the noise originated to my cats; they jumped at every sound – and all three wanted to be right on top of me, or under the bed.  Nothing I did could calm them down – not even draining the tuna fish juice into their bowls. 

So many times, I act like one of my cats.  I react to circumstances with fear.  I remain jumpy despite friends or family who try to calm me down.  I am not comforted by even those things that otherwise would bring me the greatest joy.  And in my past, I ate my way through the fear.  I can laugh at my cats – but it isn’t so funny when I’m the one afraid. 

Fear is something addressed in the Bible from the beginning to the end:

“But the LORD God called to the man, ‘Where are you?’  He answered, ‘I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.’”  (Genesis 3:9-10, NIV)

“Do not be afraid of what you are about to suffer.  I tell you, the devil will put some of you in prison to test you, and you will suffer persecution for ten days.  Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you life as your victor’s crown.”  (Revelation 2:10, NIV)

Fear is part of the human condition.  But praise God!  We have been delivered from fear. 

“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”  (2 Timothy 1:7, King James Version)  {“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.” – 2 Timothy 1:7, NIV}

New Meds

I always hate taking new meds – I’m never exactly sure how they are going to affect me.  So far, this new one hasn’t been too bad.  It doesn’t quite make me dizzy – I think I’m going to have to come up with a descriptive term for what I am feeling:  demi-dizzy, maybe?  I feel like I WILL be dizzy if I just turn my head too fast.  A friend on my vanpool suggested it felt like a “whoosh” between my ears.  I hesitate to use that, knowing it will leave things open for all kinds of comments from the peanut gallery, even though that may be the most accurate.

At the moment, however, I am feeling distinctly nauseous.  I believe that is a combination of the new medicine, and the drive in to work.  I have always been particularly susceptible to motion sickness, and the driver this morning does a lot of the things that make me a little “green around the gills”:  pressing on the gas, then releasing; overcompensating when turning the wheel; stopping very quickly.  Hopefully this will pass soon!

The good news is that my knee may be feeling the tiniest bit better.  It didn’t seem as stiff this morning, and I don’t remember waking up last night with it hurting, for the first time in several months.  I like seeing progress – of any kind!

Today is Canada Day – so to all my Canadian friends and family – best wishes! 

It’s the Friday before a long weekend.  Realistically, that means traffic will most likely be horrible on the way home, although ever the optimist, I really hope it isn’t.  People head out for vacations or to visit friends or family – and they all seem to want to go at exactly the same time.  I’m praying that everyone has a safe holiday weekend!  Enjoy your barbeque – enjoy the fireworks – enjoy your day off!  I plan to relax.