10 Weeks Out...

I have lost 59.0 pounds since surgery.
I have lost 67.8 pounds since two weeks pre-op.
I have lost 118.4 pounds since my biggest! (43.05% of my total weight to lose.)

I can see on the next horizon - one of my goals is looming - I will be less than 300 pounds! Probably a few weeks out yet, but so much closer than I can remember being! It's really and truly going to happen!

I have gone back in recent days and read my earliest postings. I was so afraid that I would fail at this the way I have failed at every other weight loss program I have attempted. I've done them all - Weight Watchers (several times) - Jenny Craig (I still have some of that food in my freezer, anybody want it?) - Quick Weight Loss Center (don't even get me started) - Medifast - FenFen (I started about six weeks before they took it off the market) - Atkins - the diabetic diet - all were successful, to a point - but for me, I just couldn't stick with them. I am not knocking these programs - and if they are working for you, I am really, really thrilled. Many people have had great success on them, and if you are one of those people, you are blessed.

But I wasn't one of those people. I have cried a great many tears over my failures in this area. And it didn't feel like just a failure with a diet - it felt like a failure as person. I didn't have the will power - or the fortitude - or the ability to stick with it. Other people can do it - why can't I? Other people have success - why can't I? The heartache was, at times, overwhelming - and the cycle began again.

It occurred to me this morning that I have not cried over this plan. Not one time. I have cried tears of frustration when I didn't feel good. I have cried tears of anger or sadness over other things in my life during this journey - but I have not cried over the results from the surgery. I have seen amazing results, and can only anticipate even more. And that is something to smile about!