19 Weeks Out

Yesterday was 19 weeks since my surgery. I thought it might be beneficial to look at how far I've come.

Since surgery, I have lost 78.8 pounds (roughly 4.15 pounds per week). I have lost 66 inches (5 feet, 6 inches). I have purchased clothes off the rack in a regular store. I can see my collar bone. I can cross my legs. I can get on a regular scale in the doctor's office (which means I weigh less than 350 pounds.) I weigh less than 300 pounds. I have lost half the weight I need to lose to reach my goal weight. I have cut out a large majority of my meds. I'm walking a whole lot more every day. I'm doing yoga. I had to get new undergarments and new clothes - because everything was falling off of me. All of these are very measurable things.

But there are a number of things that cannot be physically measured, too. I have wowed my regular doctor, my cardiologist, and even my surgeon. The nurse at my cardiologist has been blown away. I have more energy than I ever remember having. I am taking more care with my appearance - wearing makeup - jewelry - looking for clothes that emphasize the losses, instead of just anything that I can get on.

But I think the very most important thing is what has happened inside my brain. I don't turn to food for comfort, or to ease stress, or when I'm bored like I used to. Sometimes it means that I seem a lot more emotional - if that's even possible. The things that I tried so hard to hold inside before, well, there is just no room for them now. Sometimes it means that I get confrontational - which probably is not happy news for my husband, and for my parents - but again, with no room for those feelings inside, I have to do something with them. Sometimes it means that I remove myself from a situation. Again, not necessarily a POPULAR choice, depending on the situation, but sometimes it is crucial choice. I am not afraid of failing any more. I've proven time and time again that I can make good choices - and that gives me confidence.

A LOT of changes in 19 weeks. There are many more changes to come. But one thing that will never, ever change - is how much the support of my friends and family means to me. Thank you all - from the bottom of my heart.