A New Goal

Well, it's not actually a NEW goal. It has long been the desire of my heart - but I have not put it into words before now. I want to be able to fly WITHOUT a seatbelt extender.

I can and have joked about my weight for years - buying clothes from Omar the tentmaker - acknowledging that I am a BIG woman without blinking an eye. But this one thing - the simple act of having to ask for a seatbelt extender when I fly on an airplane - represents for me the humiliation and degradation and prejudice that I have felt as an obese person.

Some flight attendants have been very discreet - casually handing it to me as they walked past, never drawing any kind of attention to the fact that I was simply too big to fit into their seatbelt. To these wonderful people, I can only say, "God bless you." But others have waved the extender around - asking who needed it - then making a big show out of handing it to me. Those times, it always seemed that EVERYONE on the plane was looking at me - and I could almost hear their thoughts: "How could she let herself get that big?" or "She could be pretty if she weren't so fat..." or even, "I'm so glad I do not have to sit next to her - she takes up so much room."

Just asking for the extender takes all my courage - knowing that I might be subjecting myself to ridicule and/or pity. So, being able to fly - and to buckle up like a "normal" person - would mean that I have really and truly come to a good place.

With the weight and inches I have already lost - there is a good possibility that I am already there. But the "proof is in the pudding" so to speak (and just as a side note, ever notice how many of every day cliches and phrases revolve around food?) - so I won't know for absolute sure until I fly again. That will be happening around Thanksgiving - so I still have 15 weeks to keep working hard to make this goal a reality. Thanks for your encouragement!