I’m afraid of heights. I don’t like the queasy feeling I get in my stomach when I look down. I break out into a cold sweat, and I sometimes have difficulty breathing. It doesn’t matter where I am, on a mountain, in a glass elevator, on top of a tall building – I just don’t like heights.
Yesterday, I had an opportunity to confront that fear head-on. Some time back in the spring, I won tickets from a local radio station to Stone Mountain Park. The tickets were good for just about everything – and yesterday, we went with a couple of friends to the park. It was a drizzly kind of day – but that kept the crowds away. We had a blast exploring to our hearts’ content – and did very nearly everything we wanted to do. One of the things that I particularly wanted to do was the Skyhike. This is a quarter mile adventure course that takes place up in the air. There are three levels: the 12-foot high trail for beginners, the 24-foot high trail for intermediates, and the 40-foot high trail for the truly courageous. Given that it was a little wet (and therefore slick) and that I REALLY don’t like heights, I opted for the 12-foot trail. This is a series of platforms built in a large circle, with various beams, ropes, etc. strung between the platforms. The person negotiating the trail is in a harness that is secured into a track system above the trail. There is enough slack that a misstep will cause a fall of somewhere between one and two feet.
My first section wasn’t too bad. There are two choices at every platform – and I chose the solid plank with handholds across. The second section was a little scarier – a solid plank with nothing to hold onto – or two cables that had vertical cables to grab as you walked across. I chose the cables – and after the second step, I was ready to quit. Those cables bounce and move, and feel quite unsteady beneath your feet! But I made it across that section, and eventually across the rest of the sections. To my delight – I didn’t slip once! (Maybe yoga HAS improved my balance!) When I stepped off the trail, I cannot begin to describe the relief, but also the pride in that I faced something that has always bothered me – and did this anyway! I was pouring sweat, my heart was racing, and I was shaking and taking gulps of air – but I DID IT!
There was another set of fears that I faced on this trail – and those were the fears I have long struggled with as an obese person: will I fit? Will it hold me? Maybe I shouldn’t even try it. Nobody else in my party wanted to do this with me, so I went by myself up to the person who was strapping on the harnesses and told her that I had recently dropped a lot of weight but I still wasn’t sure if the harness would fit. She smiled and explained that not only did it fit, but also she would have to tighten it quite a bit to make sure that it would be safe. She didn’t seem to have any qualms about the structure holding me. I’m really glad I didn’t have to test it – but I think I was well within the parameters for weight.
There is something immeasurably empowering about facing a fear – and overcoming it. I DID IT! (And the friends with me took pictures to prove it – which I will post as soon as I get them! The picture I DID post is from the Stone Mountain website, and shows one of the sections.) I proved to myself that not only can I face a fear, but I can conquer my fear. Do I want to do this again? Not necessarily. I’m not addicted to the adrenalin rush. I’ve made my point. I’ve faced my fear. But if I were in a group of people who wanted to do it, I know that I COULD do it. And bit by bit I’m chipping away at those voices in my head that tell me I’m too fat…I made a memory – I had fun – and I’m glad I did it!
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