Debunking the Food Myths - Part 4

Myth #4 - Food Is a Magic Carpet That Allows Me to Escape

Wouldn't it be nice to have my very own magic carpet - so that when things got uncomfortable or painful - I could fly away and forget? I'm not sure what the license requirements are for flying carpets. But using food to try to escape didn't require a license - and I became very, very good at trying to escape things in my life. When the pain was so bad that I couldn't breathe - I ate. When the shame and humiliation piled up - I ate. When relationships were falling apart - I ate. But like drugs or alcohol - the thing I was using to escape really didn't work. My life didn't change because I ate. The problems didn't go away because I ate. And it didn't matter that I ate more and more...there was no escaping my reality.

It would have been much, much better for me to face those ugly things in my life and to try to deal with them. Eventually I did have to deal with them. But I wasted nearly half of my life because I hadn't faced the pain, the loss, and the heartache. Those are years that I was so busy trying to escape, that I missed the truly joyful things about life, right here, right now.

Being addicted to food - and to the things I hoped to get from food - is like any other addiction. I have to make choices one day at a time - sometimes one minute at a time. However, unlike other addictions, it is not possible to live my life without food. (An alcoholic can choosed never to take another drink. A drug addict can choose never to have another pill or snort or injection.) If I were to choose never to eat anything again, I would eventually die from malnutrition. So I have to be very, very careful what I choose. Eat enough to provide the nutrition I need. Don't eat more than that - no matter how tempting - no matter what pressure other people are putting on me. For me, it's a very fine line.

Last night at church, something very, very special happened to me. My preacher came up to me, and said, "I know that I haven't said this often enough to you. But I've been watching, and I want you to know that I'm really proud of you. In a rare instance where I was on Facebook last night - I saw your post about losing 100 pounds since surgery. The other night I heard you say something about you could have dessert if you wanted to, but that you were choosing NOT to. Keep up the good work."

This journey has not always been easy. Fighting my personal myths about food is not automatic - sometimes I really have to dig in my heels and make myself do it. But today, right now, it is so worth it!