It snuck up on me - but YESTERDAY was my six month anniversary for my surgery. There have been SO MANY changes in those six months...and I have listed them here before. I honestly feel like a butterfly - emerging from the dark cocoon - stretching and strengthening my wings - learning to fly.
Where I am now, versus where I was six months ago - well, it's difficult to even compare. But what if I had not made this decision - what if I had not gone forward with this surgery? I would still be stuck in the cocoon - with no hope of ever getting out. I would be 92 pounds heavier (probably even more than that - because I lost quite a bit of weight right before my surgery.) I would never look in a mirror. I wouldn't be able to wear jeans, or step on the regular scale at the doctor's office. I wouldn't have any breath or stamina to do even basic walking. I wouldn't care at all what I look like - wouldn't fix my makeup, wear jewelry, or even wear clothes that look good on me. I was so miserable. I hated myself, and that had to spill over onto everything else in my life.
So, I guess, the amazing thing is NOT that I decided to have weight loss surgery. The REALLY amazing thing is that it took me so long to make the decision. When I think of the years that I put it off - the tears I cried - the time I wasted...it makes me very sad. But that is my past. I'm looking forward - to even more weight loss - to feeling better and better about myself - to getting below the 200 mark - to flying without an extender. Who knows what the next six months will bring?
No comments:
Post a Comment