The Eye of the Beholder

“We are so vain that we even care for the opinion of those we don’t care for.” -- Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

When I was in third or fourth grade, I went to a sleepover at a friend’s house. Her mother let us watch something that we never got to watch at my house, “The Twilight Zone.” This was a forbidden treat to me. The episode was called, “The Eye of the Beholder.” A woman has obviously had plastic surgery, and her face is completely bandaged. The doctor tells her that he is not sure that the surgery has been a success. The woman says, “I never asked to be beautiful, I just want to look like my people.” Then she assures him she is ready to take off the bandages. The face that is revealed is absolutely beautiful – but the doctor apologizes. She begs him to let her see herself in a mirror – and when he finally reluctantly agrees, she screams. And THEN you see the faces of the doctors and nurses in the room – all of whom have pig faces. She runs screaming through the hospital – confronted with these people at every turn – and ashamed of her face – the one that is so UGLY. As you can see, that episode made a HUGE impact on me.

Yesterday, at church, my personal nemesis came up to me. Normally, I brace myself when she comes near. I KNOW I am not going to like whatever she says – and I just do my absolute best to be pleasant and endure. Yesterday, she said, “You look beautiful NOW.” I don’t want to be affected by her; I try not to be affected by her, but OUCH! I don’t know if I flinched physically, but my soul flinched big time. Thankfully, a dear friend standing next to me bristled, and quicker than a grizzly mama defending her young, replied, “She has ALWAYS been beautiful.” (As a side note, if K EVER comes back as a grizzly mama, I absolutely will NOT be messing with her cubs!)

Upon reflection, I know that this woman and K were talking about different things entirely. I have no illusions – I will never win a beauty pageant. (I will never ENTER a beauty pageant – so it’s a sure bet I won’t win.) I don’t even want to win a beauty pageant. I understand that this woman has a totally different world view than I have or the people who matter to me have – and that is her choice. I get that there are circumstances in her life that have brought her to this place, and that the filter most people have in place that keeps them from saying hurtful things just doesn’t quite work the same way for her. I can only pray that God keeps His hand over my mouth, so that I never respond in kind.