We got to spend a wonderful time Friday night with my family - my Mom fixed a belated birthday dinner for my husband. My sister and her family were there, and it was just a good time. I had a two hour massage on Saturday. We spent time with good friends on Saturday evening. And, of course, Sunday is always a good time.
And I became aware of a new goal. I hadn't even really thought about how much it meant to me - until this morning, when I thought it was going to happen, and it didn't. I am within ounces of weighing less than my husband.
Please understand - this isn't about the numbers - not at all. When I look at my husband, I see eyes so blue they take my breath away. I see a man who loves to laugh – and make me laugh. I hear a voice that could make the angels weep. My heart melts when he walks into a room. I have never cared what he weighed – and honestly, I don’t give it much thought. So the other day, when he mentioned his weight, and I realized how close I was to his weight, I was really surprised. In the entire time that we have been together as adults, I have weighed more than he does – sometimes, considerably more.
It isn’t the numbers, but it IS the principal. He is several inches taller than I am. He is broader through the shoulders and chest. By every measure, he SHOULD weigh more than I do. And I cannot begin to describe the absolute mortification, the horrible shame that I have felt because I was the heavy weight in this relationship.
I have been blessed with someone who doesn’t pay attention to the numbers, either. He has loved me at my biggest. He has loved me through illness – many of them severe. He has loved me through this journey. And he will love me when I reach my goal weight – and things are sagging and hanging. But I am SO looking forward to the day, when I can say that I weigh less than he does. It could happen any day now.
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