Listening to the Voices

OK – I admit it. I hear voices inside my head. These voices don’t tell me to kill somebody (usually), but they are very persistent. You know what I mean – the ones that keep up a running commentary – comparing me to everyone around me. “Am I bigger than that person?” “At least my hair is combed.” “I would never wear THAT.” But if I’m honest, most of the time I’m not the one comparing favorably: “She is so pretty.” “I look horrible, compared to her.” “I’m so fat.”

These voices have become such a part of my life that I don’t always even realize that I’m listening. Occasionally, I say something out loud, almost always to my husband, “Please tell me I don’t look like that…” He has learned that when something like that actually comes out of my mouth, I’m usually feeling particularly vulnerable, and he generally responds with a positive affirmation. (That has not ALWAYS been the case, but he learned that’s the best way to avoid tears.)

Ironically, I get really upset with friends who put themselves down, and constantly compare themselves to others, mainly because I don’t look at them with the same critical eye that I use when I look at myself. I want all my friends to have a healthy self-esteem, and shining confidence in themselves.

I did pretty well yesterday not dwelling on the three pounds. I enjoyed people complimenting my new outfit – and smiled when a few went so far as to use words like “sexy” and “flirty.” And, as expected, I lost four pounds this morning – losing all the water weight, and a little more.

I think it’s time I really work on listening to the voice I use with my friends – following my own sound and sage advice. I can be very insightful with other people, so why can’t I do the same thing for me?

I’ve heard it said that when something is repeated in Scripture seven times – it is very important to pay attention to it. Seven is a number with special meaning in the Bible. When I looked up the Scripture for today, I found this exact phrase (in bold, my emphasis) not seven times, but NINE times. Pay attention to the word that is in all capital letters – it is very important:

“One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, ‘Of all the commandments, which is the most important?’ ‘The most important one,’ answered Jesus, ‘is this: “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” The second is this: “Love your neighbor AS yourself.” There is no commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:28-31, NIV; see also Leviticus 19:18, Matthew 19:19, Matthew 22:31, Mark 12:33, Luke 10:27, Romans 13:9, Galatians 5:14, and James 2:8)

I’ve said this before, but obviously, it bears repeating: If you write this phrase as a mathematical equation, it would read: Love your neighbor = loving yourself. And if I do NOT love myself, I cannot love my neighbor. Nine times God directed the authors in the Bible to preserve these words for me to read. I believe that the Bible is the inspired Word of God – and I believe He wants me to live by those words. And that means I need to live by this phrase. So, l’m going to make a concentrated effort to quell the negative voices in my head – and say to myself what I would say to a dear friend.