I Am Humbled...

Someone told me that my blog had "gotten into her head." And now, when she turns to food for comfort she thinks about things I have said. When I write here - I am trying to express things I've never said before - so that I understand the reasons I got to where I was, the reasons food was so important to me, and hopefully, the way to keep from ever going back there. I never dreamed that I might be influencing someone else on their journey.

And yet - it makes sense. Although there were plenty of people in my past who expressed concern over my weight, or my eating habits - no one said, "This is what I did with food - I don't want you to do the same thing." A lot of people gave mixed messages. My mom is a phenomenal cook! She loves to cook, and loves for people to eat her cooking. I am certainly NOT blaming her for my choices when it comes to food - but I did learn about portion size from her. And I learned some of my self-esteem issues from her. She is happiest when people are eating her cooking - and the more you eat, it seemed she felt the more you loved her. Since my surgery, she has really worked hard to back away from piling on the food - both on my plate, and on hers! I'm so proud of her - she has decided to do Weight Watchers - and has had wonderful success. I see her attitudes changing toward food - and she has been one of my biggest cheerleaders - thanks MOM! I love you!!!!

I do know that I have had to make some decisions about dealing with stress in my life. Since eating it away is no longer an option physically, I have to decide how I am going to face the stress. Sometimes, I make a decision to remove myself from a situation, because sometimes the stress is not going to go away or resolve itself. That decision is not always popular, but it is sometimes necessary. Sometimes, I talk it over with a good friend - and I have been blessed with many, many good friends. And they are full of good advice - or at the very least, full of support. I have found that doing yoga is extremely relaxing - and stretching those muscles, with soothing background music is a great way to destress.

I am very happy to report here - that when I am stressed now - my first thought is not always food. It is sometimes - but especially at work, I only have the food that with me that I need to eat. And I refuse to walk down to the cafeteria or sandwich shop in the building to get something different. And even those times when I do think first of food, I usually find something else to meet the need. Go for a walk - call a friend - do a craft - write a blog.

Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness...

Last night during choir, we spent a lot of time working on our upcoming patriotic musical. The music in this presentation is awesome - and honestly, there will be something for everyone's taste. I am also doing the narration - which is something I love doing -

In some of the narration - it talks about the "inalienable rights" we are guaranteed by our Constitution - life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. I have always thought it interesting that it only guarantees the "pursuit" of happiness - not happiness itself. We can chase after whatever it is that we THINK will make us happy. But have you ever had this happen to you...you put everything into that ONE THING that is going to make you happy - your time, your energy, your whole being...and then, when you finally obtain whatever it is, you find that you really aren't so happy after all, and you are off to chase something else? It has happened to me many times.

Most notably, it has happened to me within the arena of food. I'm upset, so I'll eat, and that will make me feel better. I'm eating out with friends, so if I stuff myself until I hurt - and I will be happy. This ice cream, or cookie, or steak, or biscuit will make me joyful. Only, it never did any of those things. The food I crammed into my body made me gain weight - compromised my health - destroyed my heart - but not once did it ever make me happy.

In reality - there isn't any THING, or any PERSON, for that matter, who can MAKE me happy. I choose to be happy - it is an act of my will. I choose to be happy in spite of unhappy circumstances in my life. That doesn't mean that I don't feel the pain, because I do - sometimes the pain seems more than I can bear. But I can either give in to the pain - and allow it to control my life - or I can set my thoughts on higher things - and find the beauty and contentment and joy. I CHOOSE HAPPY!

Thirteen Weeks Out

Today is 13 weeks since surgery. I am down 65.2 pounds since surgery. 74.0 pounds since February 10. And 125.0 pounds from my biggest!

My life is surrounded by people who love me - who cheer me on - who really want me to win at this. But no matter how many positive people are in my life, there is always one or two people who can tear me apart with just a word, or break my heart with just one action. In my past, I have spent a considerable amount of time and energy focusing on those negative people. But you know what - I'm done with that! There will always be negative people. Everyone has them. But why should we allow them to dictate our well-being and happiness? Why do we let them control our self-image and self-worth?

I'm determined to focus the rest of my life on the cheerleaders in my life. The people who love you no matter what. The people who would do anything for you. The people you can laugh with and cry with. The people, related or not, who are closer than a brother or sister.

I realize that people have free choice - and no matter how I may want things to be different - sometimes the other person is going to choose things that I don't want. And that's OK.

So, here's to all the people who ask about me - to all the people who follow my progress - to all the people who have loved me beyond what I deserve...to all the people who have made this journey possible. I could not have done it without you, and I sure wouldn't want to even try!

Dinner Last Night

We went out to dinner last night with some friends who had moved away, but came back for a closing on the house they just sold. We keep in touch, and they have seen my progress on Facebook - so they were not so surprised at the weight I have lost - but they did have some questions as we were eating. Do I get hungry? How do I know when I have eaten enough? Even, if you don't get hungry, and you can't eat much, what is the point of eating at all?

Of course, I was able to answer all of their questions. And since I only ate one-half of a grilled cheese sandwich, I got to spend time doing the thing that is really important to me - being with them and my husband.

The conversation just re-emphasized for me the role that food has always played in my life. I ate and ate - with no thought for portions or for how healthy it was. Did it taste good? Shove it in. Did I like it? Pile it on. I just don't think that way anymore. In fact - my most important issue with food right now is finding the last bite BEFORE it is "one too many." I have not made myself sick - although I know that is a possibility with any gastric surgery, and I know friends who have experienced that. But I HAVE eaten that one bite too many - and started violently hiccupping. It seems that when that happens, my whole body gets involved. It is extremely uncomfortable - and I really want to avoid that at all costs if I can. It has been several days since I have had one of those episodes, and that is a good thing.

Joy!

I had a visit with my surgeon today - he seemed amazed at how much weight I have lost. Which is a really, really good feeling. I saw my primary care physician on Saturday - he did not know about the surgery - and so he was even more flabbergasted! What a great feeling to know that I'm doing even better than the surgeon thought I would do - it just makes me happy.

I cooked spaghetti sauce all day on Saturday for a luncheon yesterday after church. How amazing that I had the energy to do it. How wonderful that I could cook spaghetti, and get everything ready at church - and wash all the pots and pans - I was tired last night - and went to bed early - but I didn't collapse the way I would have even just a few months ago. I'm loving this.

I am down 124 pounds this morning (64 since surgery).

More Progress

Last night was yoga - and I'm happy to say that after only three weeks, I can see real progress. I can put my palms flat on the floor, when I stand with my feet at shoulder width apart. When I started, I could barely brush my fingertips on the floor.

When I'm seated with my feet apart - I can touch my toes! That wasn't even close to possible when I started!

I actually touched my forehead to my knee - again, seated, with my legs apart. I couldn't hold it for a very long time, but I did it!

When I see progress - I'm even more motivated to keep trying - to keep pushing - even if the progress is small. And that is true in every aspect of my life.

I'm rapidly approaching the weight I was when Dave and I got married, which I haven't seen SINCE we got married almost 16 years ago. I'm within two pounds of having lost 125 pounds from my biggest. I have already lost more in the 12 weeks since surgery than I lost in the entire YEAR before my surgery. And I've lost 44.73% of the total weight I want to lose. Yep - definitely making progress.

5 Feet

When I took my two week measurements this week, I was thrilled to note that I had lost 59.25 inches! My husband thinks I should say it this way: I've lost almost 5 FEET. 59 inches is impressive - but almost 5 feet sounds like a whole lot more! (I don't think I've said this, but I've lost 62.6 pounds since surgery, 71.4 pounds since two weeks prior to surgery, and a whopping 122.4 pounds from my biggest!)

Words are very important - and how we say things can really make a difference. For example, there is very little difference in the literal meaning of these two phrases: "Your beauty makes time stand still" and "Your face could stop a clock." But there is a great deal of difference in how a person would react to each of those being said to him or her. Words can be like a present - wrapped in silver paper and tied with a bow - or they can be something that rips your heart, and leaves you wounded.

Fortunately - almost everyone has been kind and encouraging with the words they use as I walk this journey. There have been lots of questions...which I try to answer honestly. There has been lots of cheering and praising - which warms my heart. But I have to be honest, there has been some criticism and some negative things, too. Some people truly feel that I have taken the "easy" way out - that if I were strong enough - I shouldn't have needed the surgery to bring about the change. Well, obviously, I wasn't doing this on my own. This choice was not an easy one for me - and it has not always been an easy journey. To those people I can only say, "I did what I had to do for me. If you can do it without the surgery, and honestly, I hope you can, then I wish you all the best."

So - to everyone who has cheered, and encouraged, and praised, and loved me through this - I thank you! You've kept me going when I might otherwise have given up. But don't stop now - I still need you - more than you'll ever know!!!

Pay Attention...

This morning as I was stepping into the shower - I closed the door on my ankle. It really hurts! Right now, it's a little swollen, and will very probably bruise. It seems like I am always doing things like that. I keep crutches, a cane, and a leg brace - for all of those "just in case" moments. When I was growing up - my Mama always said that I was an accident looking for a place to happen. Sadly - I usually found a place to happen, so often in fact, that when I would come home dragging one body part or another, she would just roll her eyes and ask, "What happened THIS time?" My injuries have ranged from the small - like a stubbed toe - to the major - like third degree burns or having a bone reset.

Over the years, I have read lots of different articles about accident-prone people. Some studies indicate that women have more accidents in connection with their cycles. Others suggest that people of higher intelligence are thinking about so many things at once. But if I'm entirely honest, I have to admit no matter what anyone says is the cause, the bottom line is that I'm not paying attention. And when I don't pay attention, somebody - usually me - is going to get hurt.

As I was hopping around in the shower this morning (just a side note - why do we hop when we injure a foot, ankle or toe - all that jumping can't be very good for anything) I realized that once again, I hadn't been paying attention. If I were paying attention, then I would have made sure my foot was completely inside the shower BEFORE I closed the door - DUH! And then it hit me - for years, that is how I lived my life - not really paying attention.

How many times have I stuffed food in my face - without even giving it a thought? How many times have I eaten fast food because it was easy? How many times have I ignored the signs that I was full? HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I NOT PAID ATTENTION TO WHAT I WAS EATING AND WHAT MY BODY WAS TELLING ME? Too many - many times too many! And because I wasn't paying attention - I was hurt. Even when I have "dieted" in the past - I really didn't pay attention. Well, maybe I did for a little while, but eventually, old habits came back - and I stopped.

Even with this surgery - if I don't pay attention - I can stretch out my stomach. I can go back to where I was. I know this - and I know people who have done this. Right now - I am paying attention - I plan what I will take to work to eat for breakfast, lunch and snack. If we go to a restaurant, I know ahead of time what I will order, and I know I will take most of it home. I know that there are certain foods I will not be able to eat, ever.

I may always be a clutz - with major and minor injuries along the way. But I'm praying that I will always pay attention to the food that I am eating - making good choices, both in quantity and quality of food.

Celebrating!!!

It's Tuesday again. Or should I say, IT'S TUESDAY AGAIN! I tried to explain my philosophy about celebrating Tuesdays on the vanpool that I ride - and I was met with, at best, mediocre response. In general - I think people get into the habit of not celebrating anything - and find people who look for things to celebrate just a little eccentric.

I have never quite fit the mold of society, and I'm not just talking about the physical weight I carried / am carrying. I see the rainbows - and the beautiful sunrise this morning - I see the squirrel running along the power line - and hundreds of things every day that bring a smile to my face that most people don't even see.

So, I challenge you - look for something to celebrate today. Laugh out loud. Watch a cartoon. Do a happy dance of joy. CELEBRATE!

Progress

As of today, I am down 62 pounds since surgery, and 122 pounds from my biggest. I think some of the older gentlemen at church have made a pact - several of them called me "skinny" yesterday at church. I always laugh and say, "Not yet, but I'm working on it!" And it makes my day. One lady said to me, "Every week I notice you look better and better, but I'm afraid I'll make myself a nuisance if I keep telling you." I assured her that was NOT possible - PLEASE keep telling me. Even more importantly - several people commented on how I look like I FEEL better. I stood for the choir special during both services. I obviously have much more energy. And feeling better was my goal all along - it is so gratifying that it shows.

I can cross another goal off my list - walking into a regular store and buying a shirt off the rack - or the shelf, as the case may be. Our choir is working hard on a big patriotic musical. We will combine with two other choirs this year. The suggested clothing for this musical is one of the $5 Old Navy flag shirts. In the past, even their biggest shirt didn't come anywhere close to fitting me. I actually found a nightshirt that had a flag on it - and wore that for years in this musical. Saturday - we went to Old Navy - I picked up a shirt - I bought it - and it fits. I did get their biggest size - but nonetheless - it was a shirt off the shelf. When I tried it on - it's not constricting - it's not so tight that I can't breathe.

Another Goal Reached

Yesterday - I was determined to walk 5,000 steps. That is half of the recommended daily walking of 10,000 steps. Considering that I was probably doing barely 1,500 when I first started, I thought that would be a good goal. Well, I am VERY PLEASED to say that I officially walked 6,284 steps yesterday! That translates to 2.41 miles. And I may have found the secret. After work, we did yoga last night. It is already so hot and sticky here in Atlanta that walking outside just is not feasible for me. So - we went to Wal-mart. We needed a few groceries - and while we were there - decided to incorporate that into part of our walk. We pretty much walked the perimeter of the store (inside, where it's air-conditioned), then up and down every aisle in the grocery section. That gave me over 1,800 steps. Because you are looking at the things on the aisles - you are distracted and not necessarily thinking about walking. However, we kept it up at a pretty good pace, only pausing when we were putting something in the cart. I got my walk in - we got our groceries - and it works!

My weight is down a few ounces again today - nothing drastic, especially given all the extra walking I did yesterday - but it is the right direction - so it's good!

Next week I will post a new picture - next week will be 12 weeks out!

I just want you to know - you mean so much to me. Thank you for caring and encouraging me like you do.

Finally...

I dropped almost a pound this morning - which is a relief. Maybe we are back on track - I really hope so!

I ride a van pool every day to work - and I sit shot-gun. This is a nice seat, with an arm rest on the left side. I never use the arm rest - there is too much of me to make that a comfortable option. But this morning, I looked at it and decided to try it - and guess what! I was able to use it all the way to work. Imagine - me sitting in a seat with an arm rest! I could hardly believe it. I sit in armless chairs whenever I can - I have an armless desk chair at work. My dining room chairs are armless. In a restaurant, I always opt for a booth over chairs with arms. (I fit much better into the booth, now, too!) But I'm thinking that maybe, just maybe, I don't need to have the phobia about it anymore. How very cool is that??? And if that is true - can riding in an airplane without a seatbelt extender be far behind?

Yesterday, I walked 4,688 steps - 1.93 miles total. Compare that to 4,007 steps (1.70 miles) on Tuesday and 3,479 steps (1.38 miles) on Monday. Every day I'm adding a little more - every day I'm making progress - a little bit at a time - but it is still progress. I'm still a long, long way from 10,000 steps a day, but look how far I've come! Confucius said, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." Or in this case, 4,688 steps? (As a side note - if you do NOT have a pedometer, I urge you to get one. They can be an invaluable tool to starting the journey. You can get them anywhere from $15 to $50 or more, depending on the bells and whistles. Mine was mid-range - $25 - and it counts steps, keeps track of the number of steps you walk at a moderate pace and at a brisk pace, number of calories burned based on your weight and height, and the distance in miles.)

The Spoon Theory written by Christine Miserandino

The Spoon Theory written by Christine Miserandino

Posted using ShareThis

Making Changes...

Dealing with a chronic illness, like congestive heart failure, affects everything you do, whether you want it to or not. One of the things it did to me was make me compliant - particularly if there was something that I really didn't want to do - or didn't have the energy to do. Many times I would go along with the suggestion - because I didn't even have the energy to protest. I would give in for the sake of peace - and eventually the giving in became a habit. It was not a habit I liked - but again, when you don't have the energy - there just isn't much you can do.

If you are dealing with a chronic illness of any kind - you might find this helpful in explaining to friends and family exactly what you are going through. It really helped me - and it has helped everyone I have sent it to. http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/personal-essays/the-spoon-theory-written-by-christine-miserandino/ It is well worth the read for anyone who is experiencing chronic illness - or who loves someone with chronic illness. CAUTION:::::: It might just change your perspective.

Anyway - as I am beginning to feel better - I find myself a lot less complacent and compliant. I no longer want to do something just to keep peace. I kind of like stirring things up. I want to LIVE - something I haven't done for a long, long time.

But, this causes some problems. Other people in my life are used to how it has been for so long. They took charge - I let them - everything was fine. So now, when I rebel against the restrictions and structure other people are placing on me - it goes over like the proverbial lead balloon. I'm changing the rules, and that is definitely uncomfortable.

In a very real sense though - the person sick with congestive heart failure isn't really me - that is just a shell of the person I am - the person I was created to be. I have always been a free spirit - hopefully not mean or vindictive - but certainly living life "outside the box." (WHAT??? There's a box?) I like to be zany and crazy. I want to use all the colors in the crayon box - and sometimes I want to color the trees blue and the sky purple - just because I can.

So, if you are an in-the-box kind of person - you may find the "new" me a little unsettling. I'm sorry - I don't do anything I do to upset you. But I am rebelling against the constraints that others impose on me. It may take a little while to work through this - but I'm sure eventually we can reach a compromise - one that allows some structure for you - and some freedom for me.

Plateau

I seem to be on a plateau - the good news: I'm not gaining. The not so good news - I'm not losing. But I am increasing my activity - yoga twice a week - walking five times a week. I am trusting that this is just temporary, and will change in the next few days.

Other than that - still feeling great - working to get the yoga on the church calendar - so we can do it at church with a larger group. I'm enjoying the yoga much more than I thought possible. It feels so good to stretch those muscles, and I can do more and more everytime. I wish I had done this years ago.

I have to give kudos to my husband - he is walking with me - doing yoga with me. All of this will be good for him, too. I think he is just relieved that I feel like doing anything at all - because for so long I haven't. And it is so much easier to do with someone rather than on my own. But - if there is anyone interested in walking and/or yoga - talk to me - and we will see if we can make arrangements. The more, the merrier - and think how good we will ALL feel if we work on getting in shape together. Here's to happier and healthier US!

New Surprises

This was a weekend full of surprises. My parents came down on Friday night - we cooked dinner for my Mom - and they spent the night. Saturday morning, Mom and I got up and went to the fabric store - we are making things for the great-granddaughter's nursery (hers, my great-niece!) and needed to get the material. After that, I took her for a massage - my Dad's gift to her for Mother's Day. Then, I took her for a spa pedicure - my gift to her. So she was thoroughly and totally spoiled - which was the whole point of the day.

While I was having my massage, some great things happened. First of all, when I am lying on my stomach - historically, I have always had my arms hanging down off of the table. There is a simple reason for this - they didn't fit on the table with my body. I started out that way this time, but when my therapist came in the room, he tucked my arms under the blanket - AND THEY FIT!!! That has NEVER happened before. Then, when he got to my legs, he wanted to test the range of motion in my knees. He does this periodically. I'm still lying on my stomach - he bends one knee up, and braces himself against it - then tells me to push against him for 8 seconds. When I relax, he pushes a little harder against my knee. When I first started going to him - I could barely bend either of my knees to 90 degrees. This time - I got my right knee to about 50 degrees, and my left knee to somewhere between 40 and 45 degrees. He was impressed. Finally, when it was time to turn over to my back - I just flipped over. He commented on that - because always in the past it took me quite a bit longer - I half jokingly said it was because there was a lot less of me to turn - but really, that is the reason!

Last night, Dave and I went to pick up my car that we left at church, and we decided to do our walk while we were there! I'm up to 1/2 mile! And I bought a pedometer last night - so I don't have to guess how much I'm walking anymore. It calculates the number of steps, how that translates to miles, the number of calories based on my height and weight, and the time duration I've walked, along with whether it was moderate or brisk. As of right now - I've walked 618 steps this morning.

Tonight will be yoga - I'm looking forward to that.

Little Surprises Along the Way...

I love watching the weight come off. And I love watching the inches come off. It's so much fun to wear clothes I haven't worn in a long time. But I think my favorite things of all on this journey are the little, unexpected surprises.

This morning, as I got dressed, I got out a necklace. I wear this necklace often - it has many strands of teal blue beads. This morning as I was putting it on - I wondered if it was possible that maybe, just maybe, I could fasten it without the extender. I have used extenders for years - out of necessity. All of my necklaces have extra extenders. And guess what - I fastened it! I was so excited - and have been doing the happy dance of joy ever since. Now - just because I COULD get it fastened - doesn't mean that it was comfortable enough to wear all day - so I am using the extender - but I DID get it fastened! WHOOHOO!

Yoga last night was amazing. My teacher modified the routine a little - I have problem with one of my knees, and couldn't do anything where I was on my hands and knees. But I stretched further - got up and down off the floor a lot easier. Making progress - and loving it!

It's Thursday...

The work week is nearly over. I took measurements last night - I'm happy to report that I have officially lost 54.75 inches since February 10 (two weeks pre-op). The most notable losses are:

Neck - down 1.75 inches
Bust - down 4 inches
Chest - down 3.75 inches
Waist - down 2.5 inches
Hips - down 9.25 inches
Thighs - down 6 inches
Calves - down 5.5 inches

Those numbers astound me - particularly the hips, thighs and calves. I'm sure that walking has something to do with this - and it's no wonder that my clothes are falling off! How very cool!

I will try to post a new picture sometime this weekend.

10 Weeks Out...

I have lost 59.0 pounds since surgery.
I have lost 67.8 pounds since two weeks pre-op.
I have lost 118.4 pounds since my biggest! (43.05% of my total weight to lose.)

I can see on the next horizon - one of my goals is looming - I will be less than 300 pounds! Probably a few weeks out yet, but so much closer than I can remember being! It's really and truly going to happen!

I have gone back in recent days and read my earliest postings. I was so afraid that I would fail at this the way I have failed at every other weight loss program I have attempted. I've done them all - Weight Watchers (several times) - Jenny Craig (I still have some of that food in my freezer, anybody want it?) - Quick Weight Loss Center (don't even get me started) - Medifast - FenFen (I started about six weeks before they took it off the market) - Atkins - the diabetic diet - all were successful, to a point - but for me, I just couldn't stick with them. I am not knocking these programs - and if they are working for you, I am really, really thrilled. Many people have had great success on them, and if you are one of those people, you are blessed.

But I wasn't one of those people. I have cried a great many tears over my failures in this area. And it didn't feel like just a failure with a diet - it felt like a failure as person. I didn't have the will power - or the fortitude - or the ability to stick with it. Other people can do it - why can't I? Other people have success - why can't I? The heartache was, at times, overwhelming - and the cycle began again.

It occurred to me this morning that I have not cried over this plan. Not one time. I have cried tears of frustration when I didn't feel good. I have cried tears of anger or sadness over other things in my life during this journey - but I have not cried over the results from the surgery. I have seen amazing results, and can only anticipate even more. And that is something to smile about!

Power Outage

The power went out last night - I woke up because the fans went off. I'm glad I didn't have my c-pap on at the time - that could be dangerous. But I didn't worry about my alarm - we both have clocks that do not lose time while the power is off. I have taken the precaution to be ready for just that event.

This morning, when I got up - there were some things that needed to be reset. Clocks on the stove and microwave, the answering machine, the digital picture frame that comes on every time. Most of these are minor inconveniences, easily fixed. But - when I went to turn on the tv to catch the traffic and weather - well, let's just say that I royally screwed that up trying to get it fixed. We have four remotes - and there is a precise order that buttons have to be pushed - and since I NEVER have control of the remote - I just don't know what I have to do. So, I did what any one would do - I woke up the person who set everything up and DOES have control of the remote (SORRY, BABE!). He always presses one or two buttons, and presto - everything works. But that is BEFORE I try to fix things. This morning, he could not undo whatever I had done. Understand, my husband is NOT a morning person. But once I got him up, he was GOING to fix this. Finally, in desperation, he turned everything off - then turn it back on again, and it worked!

Having the clock that survives a power outage is preparation. The mess I made with all the remotes is reaction. I find that it works much the same way with my choices about food. When I plan the food I'm going to eat at work - breakfast, lunch, and a snack or two - it is easy to follow the "diet" I'm supposed to eat. I make sure that there is protein - I'm slowly adding in some fruit and veggies. I know what is there and I'm not tempted to go beyond what is in my lunch box. BUT - if I am too busy or don't have enough time to pack my lunch box, then I'm liable to make poorer choices - having to rely on what some restaurant has available instead of what is necessarily good for me.

Preparation - or reaction? I have reacted far too often in my past when it comes to food choices. I'm choosing to be prepared - to make the right choices - to see a difference.

Crunching Numbers

I crunch numbers all day long. I make graphs and charts and track trends. I'm good at it - so, it is not surprising that I have done the same thing with the weight loss.

Not only can I tell you how much I've lost since surgery, since two weeks pre-op, since my biggest - I can also tell you the weight loss for all of those in stones (which is how my UK friends measure - and for anyone interested, there are 14 pounds to a stone). I can tell you my current BMI, as well how much it has gone down. Now these numbers probably get boring to everyone else - but since so much of my life deals with numbers, they are really important to me. And - I have a new number to add to the mix: from my biggest to my goal weight (which I recently adjusted so that it would be in line with the BMI the doctor wants me to have) - I have lost 42% of the weight I need to lose. 42%!!! That is ALMOST halfway there. WOW!

I have also added another goal - next year - sometime - I want to walk in a 5k charity event. I do not have any delusions of being able to run it - but I think if I start now and work up to it, I can do a walk. Wouldn't that be absolutely incredible? So - you keep encouraging me - and I'll keep working toward it...