Two Years Out

Look at me - I am two years out from surgery. So much has changed in two years. And on top of everything, I'm famous!

I was laid off at the beginning of November. I was truly afraid that I would begin to eat - and undo all of the good that I have done over the past two years. But I HAVEN'T! I have thought about - no question - but I have immediately thought that it won't make me feel better. And through all of this, I have maintained.

I was working at a temp job - and there was a lady who came up to talk to me asking if we knew each other. I didn't know her. A few days later we got to talking during lunch. It came up that we had both had had bariatric surgery. Then she asked if I was on OH - THAT was where she knew me from! How cool was that!

I have been asked if I'm ready to move on - to forget about the surgery. I sure hope not! While I don't have the fears that immediately followed surgery - I do still have to work at this. As a recovering food addict - I will always have to examine what I put into my mouth. I will always have to think about the "why" - and the "what." And there will always be people who have questions for me - either about my journey - or thinking about their own journey.

Do I have any regrets? Only that I waited so long to do this. Would I do it again? In a heartbeat! 

Daytime TV

Those times when I am at home during the day, I often have the TV on for noise.  I just shake my head at the commercials.  You would be amazed at what you can purchase for $19.99 – and if you act in the next five minutes, they will not only double the order, but also give you all kinds of free gifts with your purchase, as long as you pay separate shipping and handling. If you don’t want to purchase anything – you can contact a lawyer for any kind for of problem you have.  And then there are the online universities that will give you a degree in any possible area that you want.  And if that isn’t enough for you – check out the life insurance policies.

Of course, it seems that these items are just simply too good to be true.  And if you have ever purchased any of these TV offers, you will most likely find that they really don’t work exactly as they promise to work.  So, the laundry folder – or the lint trap cleaner – or the device that chops, dices, and even makes julienne fries – winds up collecting dust in a corner of the laundry room, or in your junk drawer. 

We spend so much time chasing the elusive dream.  It might be a relationship.  It might be a job.  It might be a certain size or shape.  It might be acknowledgement from a specific group of people.  It might be a certain amount of money.  The truth is that none of these things brings happiness, and even when we obtain that which we think we want the most, it seldom brings the happiness we are looking for. 

So, where does happiness come from?  There is a clue in the parable of the talents.  The master is going away, and gives five talents (or bags of gold) to one servant, two talents to another servant, and one talent to a third servant.  When he comes back, and finds that the first two servants have doubled what he gave them, he says, “Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!”  (Matthew 25: 21 and 23, NIV)

Happiness does not come in seeking the things that we think we want.  Happiness comes from serving God and serving others.  When we do this with our whole hearts – we find that happiness is a byproduct – not the end itself.  Happiness is the journey, not the destination. 

Being Invisible

In our master bathroom, I wanted to keep the light coming in, but obviously did not want anyone to be able to see into the bathroom.  My solution was to take a clear, textured plastic shower curtain, fold it in half, and hang it in the window.  To make sure that no one could see in, Dave went outside at night, I turned on all the lights, and he stood outside.  He said that even with me standing right inside the window, he could not see anything more than vague shadows. 

So, a couple of days ago, I just had to laugh at my cat.  He loves to sit up in the window behind that curtain.  Of course, he was backlit, and I could see him.  I was talking to him, and he would not even look at me.  He thought he was completely hidden, and as long as he believed that, nothing I did or said would convince him otherwise.  When I walked over to the window, he would peek out from underneath. 

Since my last blog, I have been working at a temporary job.  I loved the commute – it was only two miles from my house!  Originally, I was told that the job would last through the end of March.  However, Monday, after I left work for the day, the temp agency called and said I wasn’t needed any more.  I felt invisible.  And unlike my Sonny, I didn’t like it.

Intellectually, I know that the very nature of a temp job is that it’s temporary!  But I hate feeling like a used tissue, and being tossed away as soon as they get all the use they can out of you.  I hate making friends and not being able to say “good-bye.”  I hate not getting any kind of feedback – “you did a good job” or “you could improve in this area.”  But it is part of the package.

Of course, I survived being let go.  And it wasn’t nearly as hard as being let go from my long-term job.  There is good news, too!  Since the temp job ended, I now have two interviews next week.  It looks like getting out of the invisible temp job might be the best thing that could have happened!  I will keep you posted!