“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” ~ Albert Einstein
This quote makes me smile – and yet, I have to acknowledge the truth in this statement. I have been openly frustrated about the plateau I am on – but I have NOT changed anything in my eating habits that will effectively change the results. If I don’t change something, then I will most likely STAY on this plateau. Compared to where I have been, it’s not so bad, but I really and truly do not want to poop out on this race just as the finish line looms ahead. I have worked too hard, and too many people have invested too much for me to give up.
It’s not that I’m eating bad things – or too much. I still have difficulty eating more than a very small amount. But I have been a little careless in my bite, lick, and taste philosophy. One bite might become two, one lick might become several, and one taste might not be enough. I added high fiber oatmeal to my diet every day, but did not compensate for that by cutting back or cutting out something else. I have increased my carbohydrates somewhat. Work has been extremely busy, and I have not been walking consistently. Small things, to be sure, but they all add up in the course of the day. When I reach goal, I think maintaining will be fairly simple. I can just do what I am doing now. But I’m not at goal yet, so I need to be even more careful.
Worst for me is nights when Dave is working. When he is there, I might not even go into the kitchen. But when he’s not there, I wander restlessly – and sometimes still find myself mindlessly putting something into my mouth. I decided yesterday that my current plan of action is not working, and last night I was particularly cautious about what I ate. The good news is that my weight was down a little this morning. It remains to be seen if I am making enough changes to make a difference. By stating it here, and making myself accountable, I think it is much more likely to happen.
No one has ever forced the food into my mouth. That choice has always been mine, and mine alone. The choice is still mine – and I am choosing to continue this journey. Thanks to everyone who has walked with me!
Friday, April 29, 2011
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Waiting Out the Storm
Our area has been hard hit by epic storms for the last couple of days. Over 200 people have died in incidents relating to the tornadoes, hail, and winds that resulted from those storms. That count could climb as search and rescue efforts continue today. Many people spent much of last night hunkered down in a safe room or closet in their homes, anxiously watching the news or listening to the radio to have as much warning as possible. Media coverage of the places that had direct hits from tornadoes shows devastation. Several counties in the area had to close schools because of damage or impassable roads.
“Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him, saying, ‘Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!’ He replied, ‘You of little faith, why are you so afraid?’ Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. The men were amazed and asked, ‘What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!’” (Matthew 8:23-27, NIV)
Just like the disciples, our first reaction to the storms in our lives is usually fear, whether physical storms outside or emotional storms inside. How many times have I cried out in fear, “Lord, save me!” Sadly, many times I say that, and again, like the disciples, I don’t really believe that He WILL save me. I smile at the disciples’ amazement, yet I know that I would be right there with them. “Lord, I don’t really know if you CAN save me, but I’m asking anyway.”
Jesus had just healed many people. He had cast out demons. He was tired, and used this trip with His followers to “catch up” a little. Yet, when they needed Him, He met that need. I have always thought it interesting that He rebuked the winds and the waves, and not His disciples. They had already spent time with Him, listening to His teaching, watching as He healed so many people. Surely, they had evidence by now that He was from God. Yet instead of sternly admonishing them, He quietly asks why they are so afraid.
That is still a valid question. Why AM I so afraid? Why do the storms in my life goad me into panic? My God is so much bigger than anything that can happen here on this earth. He is bigger than the F3 tornado that caused so much damage. He is bigger than the abuse in my past that I thought was going to destroy me. He is bigger than any heartache, any physical pain, or any fear.
I suppose that fear is part of the human condition. As long as there are storms of any kind, there will be fear. Praise God that even though I experience fear, I don’t have to live there forever. I can choose to trust Him to calm my storms, even if I am afraid. Maybe that should read, “Especially if I am afraid.”
“Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him, saying, ‘Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!’ He replied, ‘You of little faith, why are you so afraid?’ Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. The men were amazed and asked, ‘What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!’” (Matthew 8:23-27, NIV)
Just like the disciples, our first reaction to the storms in our lives is usually fear, whether physical storms outside or emotional storms inside. How many times have I cried out in fear, “Lord, save me!” Sadly, many times I say that, and again, like the disciples, I don’t really believe that He WILL save me. I smile at the disciples’ amazement, yet I know that I would be right there with them. “Lord, I don’t really know if you CAN save me, but I’m asking anyway.”
Jesus had just healed many people. He had cast out demons. He was tired, and used this trip with His followers to “catch up” a little. Yet, when they needed Him, He met that need. I have always thought it interesting that He rebuked the winds and the waves, and not His disciples. They had already spent time with Him, listening to His teaching, watching as He healed so many people. Surely, they had evidence by now that He was from God. Yet instead of sternly admonishing them, He quietly asks why they are so afraid.
That is still a valid question. Why AM I so afraid? Why do the storms in my life goad me into panic? My God is so much bigger than anything that can happen here on this earth. He is bigger than the F3 tornado that caused so much damage. He is bigger than the abuse in my past that I thought was going to destroy me. He is bigger than any heartache, any physical pain, or any fear.
I suppose that fear is part of the human condition. As long as there are storms of any kind, there will be fear. Praise God that even though I experience fear, I don’t have to live there forever. I can choose to trust Him to calm my storms, even if I am afraid. Maybe that should read, “Especially if I am afraid.”
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Teach a Man to Fish
There is a Chinese proverb that says, “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” I’m sure the friend who came over last night to teach me how to grow my own tomatoes must have been thinking about this.
I have said on numerous times that I have two black thumbs – plants commit suicide before I can take care of them, because they KNOW that means a long, painful death for them. I love plants – of all kinds – but have never really had anything that did well under my care, except for the bamboo plant on my desk, and I think that is almost impossible to kill, although I’ve given it my very best shot.
So, it was with a little fear and a lot of trepidation that I welcomed my friend – laden with soil, containers, plant food, and two tomato plants – into my home last night to show me how to grow tomatoes. He patiently explained how they need lots of sunlight, and lots of water. He gave me instructions on giving them the plant food. He showed me how to put it into the soil – and how to tie it up as it grows. He gave me everything I need to reap successfully the fruits of my labor. As he talked, I remember thinking, “This doesn’t sound too difficult; maybe this time, I will be able to grow them!” I’m not sure anyone ever told me how to do it before now.
It remains to be seen if I will actually get any tomatoes. (One plant had several flowers and one tiny tomato on it already. The other plant had several flower buds just starting.) If I am successful – then I will certainly give the credit to my friend. If I’m NOT successful, then I can only figure that YET AGAIN there has been a break in the communication that was given to me, and how my brain actually utilized the information.
I have to admit, just the possibility that I will actually get to taste a tomato that I’ve grown makes me happy. If all goes according to plan, my friend says it could be in as little as four weeks. And if it happens, (I keep saying “if” because I’m still not sure it will) I have to wonder how many other things in my life I’ve avoided because I didn’t know how to do them – maybe if there were someone out there willing to teach me to…dance…publish a book…get serious about losing weight…fill in the blank…I wouldn’t be afraid to try. The right knowledge and the right tools change it from an insurmountable task to an accomplishment! I will keep everyone posted on my tomatoes. I have proven that I am capable given the information and tools to do the job.
NOTE: To my readers who get this by email, one person told me that yesterday’s blog went out again today. I didn’t do that; it must be a problem with the blog site. I will investigate.
I have said on numerous times that I have two black thumbs – plants commit suicide before I can take care of them, because they KNOW that means a long, painful death for them. I love plants – of all kinds – but have never really had anything that did well under my care, except for the bamboo plant on my desk, and I think that is almost impossible to kill, although I’ve given it my very best shot.
So, it was with a little fear and a lot of trepidation that I welcomed my friend – laden with soil, containers, plant food, and two tomato plants – into my home last night to show me how to grow tomatoes. He patiently explained how they need lots of sunlight, and lots of water. He gave me instructions on giving them the plant food. He showed me how to put it into the soil – and how to tie it up as it grows. He gave me everything I need to reap successfully the fruits of my labor. As he talked, I remember thinking, “This doesn’t sound too difficult; maybe this time, I will be able to grow them!” I’m not sure anyone ever told me how to do it before now.
It remains to be seen if I will actually get any tomatoes. (One plant had several flowers and one tiny tomato on it already. The other plant had several flower buds just starting.) If I am successful – then I will certainly give the credit to my friend. If I’m NOT successful, then I can only figure that YET AGAIN there has been a break in the communication that was given to me, and how my brain actually utilized the information.
I have to admit, just the possibility that I will actually get to taste a tomato that I’ve grown makes me happy. If all goes according to plan, my friend says it could be in as little as four weeks. And if it happens, (I keep saying “if” because I’m still not sure it will) I have to wonder how many other things in my life I’ve avoided because I didn’t know how to do them – maybe if there were someone out there willing to teach me to…dance…publish a book…get serious about losing weight…fill in the blank…I wouldn’t be afraid to try. The right knowledge and the right tools change it from an insurmountable task to an accomplishment! I will keep everyone posted on my tomatoes. I have proven that I am capable given the information and tools to do the job.
NOTE: To my readers who get this by email, one person told me that yesterday’s blog went out again today. I didn’t do that; it must be a problem with the blog site. I will investigate.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Looking Cool
When I was in fifth grade – there was an interesting group of girls at my school. They were the COOL girls. I swear, I think they could have worn their pajamas to school – and everyone else would have thought this was the greatest thing – and worn THEIR pajamas the next day. I wanted desperately to be cool – but I started out with three strikes against me: we had recently moved from the deep south (Atlanta) to Long Island, NY; I was a straight A student; and my daddy was a preacher in a community that was about 95% Catholic, and they didn’t understand anything but a priest. Those are all pretty big on the UNCOOL list.
These girls frequently wore knickers to school – pants that were cropped to about the knee, with a cuff that buttoned. When worn with white knee socks, and a blouse, and sometimes even a vest – it was a cute outfit – especially for the dainty girls in the COOL group.
We never had a lot of money – so duplicating that look was not going to be easy. At one point, someone had given us a bag of hand-me-down clothes, and wouldn’t you know it – there was a pair of knickers in the bag!! I was so excited. It didn’t matter that they weren’t EXACTLY like the knickers everyone else was wearing. So what if they were flared instead of cuffed – and made out of polyester instead of heavy cotton? Did it really matter? I was going to wear knickers like everyone else. And my parents didn’t have to spend any money to make it happen.
I only wore them one time. It was the first time that I finally saw that, yes, it DID matter that they weren’t exactly the same. I was teased horribly that day – and I learned that you can dress somebody up, but you can’t make him or her cool.
My friends would probably tell you that my style is out there – particularly when it comes to accessories, I want something that makes a statement. But to this day, whenever I put on something that “pushes the limit” I am terribly self-conscious. I have to ask for (and RECEIVE) assurance that what I’m wearing really and truly does look OK. I think my husband would keep me from wearing anything too outrageous (at least I HOPE he would). And I think my friends will be honest and tell me if something is just too horrible for me wear. And perhaps I’ve learned that being COOL is largely attitude and not the window dressing. But there is still a part of me who goes back to fifth grade anytime that I try on something outside of my normal.
These girls frequently wore knickers to school – pants that were cropped to about the knee, with a cuff that buttoned. When worn with white knee socks, and a blouse, and sometimes even a vest – it was a cute outfit – especially for the dainty girls in the COOL group.
We never had a lot of money – so duplicating that look was not going to be easy. At one point, someone had given us a bag of hand-me-down clothes, and wouldn’t you know it – there was a pair of knickers in the bag!! I was so excited. It didn’t matter that they weren’t EXACTLY like the knickers everyone else was wearing. So what if they were flared instead of cuffed – and made out of polyester instead of heavy cotton? Did it really matter? I was going to wear knickers like everyone else. And my parents didn’t have to spend any money to make it happen.
I only wore them one time. It was the first time that I finally saw that, yes, it DID matter that they weren’t exactly the same. I was teased horribly that day – and I learned that you can dress somebody up, but you can’t make him or her cool.
My friends would probably tell you that my style is out there – particularly when it comes to accessories, I want something that makes a statement. But to this day, whenever I put on something that “pushes the limit” I am terribly self-conscious. I have to ask for (and RECEIVE) assurance that what I’m wearing really and truly does look OK. I think my husband would keep me from wearing anything too outrageous (at least I HOPE he would). And I think my friends will be honest and tell me if something is just too horrible for me wear. And perhaps I’ve learned that being COOL is largely attitude and not the window dressing. But there is still a part of me who goes back to fifth grade anytime that I try on something outside of my normal.
Monday, April 25, 2011
The Single Biggest Struggle
I think the single biggest struggle in this journey, for me, anyway, has been the frustration with the plateaus. I have to say, when I am dropping weight, there is a tremendous RUSH! It feels good! I like when my clothes get baggy. I like being able to go down a size. I like when people comment about the changes in me. I like seeing changes in the mirror.
I understand that the plateaus are part of the journey. It gives my body a chance to adjust and to rest from the periods of losing. And maintaining is NOT gaining. That is also a very important thing. I’ve been doing this long enough to see that it will pass, eventually, and I just have to be patient and upbeat about it. I try very hard to do just that. But there are days where I just want to hurry up and get where I’m going…RIGHT NOW! On www.obesityhelp.com, I have preached patience and acceptance of the resting times to many different people. I am sure a much better preacher than I am a “practicer.”
Lately, I find myself wondering if this is as far as I’m going to go. All things considered, where I am right now is NOT a bad place to be. My health has improved dramatically. My size and my BMI have both dropped significantly. I have more energy, and am able to walk and work and DO much more than I remember in the past several years. I feel good. I’ve come to the conclusion that I could stay right here and be perfectly content. I keep telling myself that I never did this to LOOK a certain way; I did it to FEEL a certain way. I am there. In fact, I have far exceeded my goals in how good I feel.
I can only think that this restlessness is because I care more about how I look than I ever thought I would. Don’t get me wrong – I don’t spend hours planning my wardrobe, or fussing with makeup and hair. However, I DO spend more time with those things these days. And I’m truly cognizant of the fact that being healthy is not necessarily tied to being a certain size. So, I’m giving myself the pep talk – and doing my best to listen this time!
I understand that the plateaus are part of the journey. It gives my body a chance to adjust and to rest from the periods of losing. And maintaining is NOT gaining. That is also a very important thing. I’ve been doing this long enough to see that it will pass, eventually, and I just have to be patient and upbeat about it. I try very hard to do just that. But there are days where I just want to hurry up and get where I’m going…RIGHT NOW! On www.obesityhelp.com, I have preached patience and acceptance of the resting times to many different people. I am sure a much better preacher than I am a “practicer.”
Lately, I find myself wondering if this is as far as I’m going to go. All things considered, where I am right now is NOT a bad place to be. My health has improved dramatically. My size and my BMI have both dropped significantly. I have more energy, and am able to walk and work and DO much more than I remember in the past several years. I feel good. I’ve come to the conclusion that I could stay right here and be perfectly content. I keep telling myself that I never did this to LOOK a certain way; I did it to FEEL a certain way. I am there. In fact, I have far exceeded my goals in how good I feel.
I can only think that this restlessness is because I care more about how I look than I ever thought I would. Don’t get me wrong – I don’t spend hours planning my wardrobe, or fussing with makeup and hair. However, I DO spend more time with those things these days. And I’m truly cognizant of the fact that being healthy is not necessarily tied to being a certain size. So, I’m giving myself the pep talk – and doing my best to listen this time!
Friday, April 22, 2011
I Left It RIGHT HERE!
I know I left them right here. It might be my keys, or my glasses! And I will find them eventually – but usually not in the place where I “know” I left them. Unfortunately, most of the time I didn’t leave them where I thought I did, either that, or they grow legs and walk away. Anymore it seems that I spend more time looking for things that I had just a minute ago than I do anything else.
This is annoying. Sometimes, it’s a minor annoyance – but sometimes it is major – like when I’m already running late, and I can’t find those keys! Of course, if I would follow my husband’s lead and hang them on the hook by our kitchen door, put there specifically for keys, I wouldn’t have this problem.
But what if wasn’t a thing I had lost? What if it was a person? The irritation would quickly escalate to panic, and quite possibly terror. A child “losing” a parent in a crowded park – or a mother turning around to find her toddler has wandered off – both of these can be cause for great fear.
When Jesus was put in the tomb, people expected Him to stay there. The disciples and followers were devastated, and scared for their lives. The chief priests and Pharisees were afraid that somehow the body would disappear, so they begged Pilate to post a guard outside of the tomb to keep that from happening. Perhaps the soldiers were not very happy about guarding a dead body, but they did their duty.
When Joseph and Nicodemus took the body, they wrapped it with a mixture of about seventy-five pounds of myrrh and aloes, and strips of linen. (See John 19:39, NIV). They put the body in a tomb. Joseph rolled a large stone in front of the entrance. The religious leaders sealed the tomb, and posted the guard. The body should have been there.
But Jesus didn’t stay in the tomb. He has risen, He has risen, indeed! When the women came to finalize His burial, they couldn’t find Him! They were looking in the wrong place. When the disciples ran to the tomb, He wasn’t there! They were looking for the living among the dead! When the guards told the chief priests what had happened, the priest gave the soldiers a large sum of money to tell everyone the disciples had stolen the body while they were sleeping. (It must have been a very large sum of money for soldiers to admit that they had fallen asleep while at their post.) Everyone expected His body to be right where they left it!
The joy of Easter is the empty tomb! He has risen, just as He said He would! He has conquered death. He has given us all the hope of new life. Death is not the end – it is only a door.
“The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.” (Colossians 1:15-20, NIV)
This is annoying. Sometimes, it’s a minor annoyance – but sometimes it is major – like when I’m already running late, and I can’t find those keys! Of course, if I would follow my husband’s lead and hang them on the hook by our kitchen door, put there specifically for keys, I wouldn’t have this problem.
But what if wasn’t a thing I had lost? What if it was a person? The irritation would quickly escalate to panic, and quite possibly terror. A child “losing” a parent in a crowded park – or a mother turning around to find her toddler has wandered off – both of these can be cause for great fear.
When Jesus was put in the tomb, people expected Him to stay there. The disciples and followers were devastated, and scared for their lives. The chief priests and Pharisees were afraid that somehow the body would disappear, so they begged Pilate to post a guard outside of the tomb to keep that from happening. Perhaps the soldiers were not very happy about guarding a dead body, but they did their duty.
When Joseph and Nicodemus took the body, they wrapped it with a mixture of about seventy-five pounds of myrrh and aloes, and strips of linen. (See John 19:39, NIV). They put the body in a tomb. Joseph rolled a large stone in front of the entrance. The religious leaders sealed the tomb, and posted the guard. The body should have been there.
But Jesus didn’t stay in the tomb. He has risen, He has risen, indeed! When the women came to finalize His burial, they couldn’t find Him! They were looking in the wrong place. When the disciples ran to the tomb, He wasn’t there! They were looking for the living among the dead! When the guards told the chief priests what had happened, the priest gave the soldiers a large sum of money to tell everyone the disciples had stolen the body while they were sleeping. (It must have been a very large sum of money for soldiers to admit that they had fallen asleep while at their post.) Everyone expected His body to be right where they left it!
The joy of Easter is the empty tomb! He has risen, just as He said He would! He has conquered death. He has given us all the hope of new life. Death is not the end – it is only a door.
“The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.” (Colossians 1:15-20, NIV)
Thursday, April 21, 2011
I Stand Amazed
“I stand amazed in the presence of Jesus the Nazarene…”
Jesus, the Nazarene. For thirty years, He wasn’t anything special – the son of simple carpenter, from a wide spot in the road - a tiny town called Nazareth. There was that scandal around His birth, but by the time the baby came, Joseph and Mary had gone for the census, and they did some traveling, and by the time they came back from Egypt, of all places, it was pretty much forgotten. Other than one incident at the temple when He was 12 – there was nothing at all extraordinary about Him. It really didn’t matter if a person sat or stood in His presence. When He started teaching, people wondered at His authority. He explained things in simple words that even uneducated people could understand. As a teacher, or rabbi, the proper response would be to sit at His feet and learn everything He could teach.
As His reputation grew, and He began healing people and raising people from the dead, it became obvious that He was so much more than a rabbi. He was connected directly to God, the Father. He WAS God the Father: the Lord of the Universe, and the King of Kings. Surely, the proper response here is to bow, or fall on my face before Him. Yet, with all the authority and power imaginable, He takes my hand and stands me up in His presence. He wipes the tears from my face, and He proclaims me worthy of His love.
“And wonder how he could love me, a sinner, condemned, unclean.”
He loves me. He LOVES me. HE loves me! He loves ME! How is that possible? I’m so unworthy. I try so hard, and fail so miserably. HE LOVES ME! It is not about what I have done, or what I’m going to do. It is not about being worthy. It’s about how all-encompassing His love is. Even though He knows I will fail – that even on my absolute best day, I’m going to miss the mark, and still He loves me!
“He took my sins and my sorrows, he made them his very own; he bore the burden to Calvary, and suffered and died alone.”
I am the reason for Calvary. He loved me so very much, and wanted to fellowship with me to the point that He said, “I will pay the penalty. I will take what belongs to Teri, and she will not be liable for that any longer.” “Amazed” does not even begin to describe the feeling of gratitude: astonished, shocked, flabbergasted, dumbfounded, stunned – none of these words come close to what is in my heart.
"How marvelous! How wonderful! And my song shall ever be: How marvelous! How wonderful is my Savior’s love for me!” (Music and Lyrics by C.H. Gabriel, Public Domain)
Jesus, the Nazarene. For thirty years, He wasn’t anything special – the son of simple carpenter, from a wide spot in the road - a tiny town called Nazareth. There was that scandal around His birth, but by the time the baby came, Joseph and Mary had gone for the census, and they did some traveling, and by the time they came back from Egypt, of all places, it was pretty much forgotten. Other than one incident at the temple when He was 12 – there was nothing at all extraordinary about Him. It really didn’t matter if a person sat or stood in His presence. When He started teaching, people wondered at His authority. He explained things in simple words that even uneducated people could understand. As a teacher, or rabbi, the proper response would be to sit at His feet and learn everything He could teach.
As His reputation grew, and He began healing people and raising people from the dead, it became obvious that He was so much more than a rabbi. He was connected directly to God, the Father. He WAS God the Father: the Lord of the Universe, and the King of Kings. Surely, the proper response here is to bow, or fall on my face before Him. Yet, with all the authority and power imaginable, He takes my hand and stands me up in His presence. He wipes the tears from my face, and He proclaims me worthy of His love.
“And wonder how he could love me, a sinner, condemned, unclean.”
He loves me. He LOVES me. HE loves me! He loves ME! How is that possible? I’m so unworthy. I try so hard, and fail so miserably. HE LOVES ME! It is not about what I have done, or what I’m going to do. It is not about being worthy. It’s about how all-encompassing His love is. Even though He knows I will fail – that even on my absolute best day, I’m going to miss the mark, and still He loves me!
“He took my sins and my sorrows, he made them his very own; he bore the burden to Calvary, and suffered and died alone.”
I am the reason for Calvary. He loved me so very much, and wanted to fellowship with me to the point that He said, “I will pay the penalty. I will take what belongs to Teri, and she will not be liable for that any longer.” “Amazed” does not even begin to describe the feeling of gratitude: astonished, shocked, flabbergasted, dumbfounded, stunned – none of these words come close to what is in my heart.
"How marvelous! How wonderful! And my song shall ever be: How marvelous! How wonderful is my Savior’s love for me!” (Music and Lyrics by C.H. Gabriel, Public Domain)
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
An Unexpected Blessing
When I started this process around weight loss surgery a little over a year and a half ago, I must tell you that I was extremely discouraged very early on. This surgery is not cheap, and my insurance flat out refused to pay for even one penny of the surgery, despite several doctors’ efforts in proving existing co-morbidities like diabetes, heart failure, sleep apnea, and potential renal failure. But I had powerful prayer warriors on my team, and my Mom and one friend in particular who absolutely would not let me give up. Someone stepped forward and fronted the entire amount I needed for the surgery, and I have been paying them back $30 every payday. I figured I would be paying this for the next 40 years or so, but it was worth that commitment to me. Without the surgery, it is doubtful I would have been around for 40 years.
Yesterday, my lender told me that the remaining balance on the loan is going to be forgiven. Over $18,000 wiped clean. This was totally unexpected – and I was completely speechless! “Thank You” doesn’t even begin to express my gratitude, my joy, or my feeling of being overwhelmed and utterly unworthy of such a gift. Yet all I can say is “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
I feel the same way when I stand in front of the cross. What happened on the cross wiped clean the debt that I owe for my sins – a debt I could not pay, even if I spent the rest of eternity trying. I am so unworthy of that gift – and I am filled to overflowing with gratitude and joy that God would love me so very much. "Thank you" does not come close to conveying what I am feeling, yet there aren't words that express it adequately.
“Behold the Lamb, behold the Lamb, Slain from the foundation of the world.
For sinners crucified, O holy sacrifice, Behold the Lamb of God, Behold the Lamb.”
(Performed by David Phelps, written by Dottie Rambo, Published by New Spring, Inc.)
Yesterday, my lender told me that the remaining balance on the loan is going to be forgiven. Over $18,000 wiped clean. This was totally unexpected – and I was completely speechless! “Thank You” doesn’t even begin to express my gratitude, my joy, or my feeling of being overwhelmed and utterly unworthy of such a gift. Yet all I can say is “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
I feel the same way when I stand in front of the cross. What happened on the cross wiped clean the debt that I owe for my sins – a debt I could not pay, even if I spent the rest of eternity trying. I am so unworthy of that gift – and I am filled to overflowing with gratitude and joy that God would love me so very much. "Thank you" does not come close to conveying what I am feeling, yet there aren't words that express it adequately.
“Behold the Lamb, behold the Lamb, Slain from the foundation of the world.
For sinners crucified, O holy sacrifice, Behold the Lamb of God, Behold the Lamb.”
(Performed by David Phelps, written by Dottie Rambo, Published by New Spring, Inc.)
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Was It a Morning Like This?
“Was it a morning like this, when the Son still hid from Jerusalem?
And Mary rose from her bed to tend the Lord she thought was dead…”
(Was It A Morning Like This, Performed by Sandi Patty, words and music by Jim Croegaert, ©1978 Meadowgreen Music Company)
For some reason, I have always identified with Mary. I have tried to imagine her absolute despair as she watched her Teacher die the horrible death of crucifixion. Jesus had freed her from seven demons who possessed her, at a time and culture when no man would most likely even talk to her – because she had the double curse of being possessed and being a woman. Jesus accepted her into His group, and partly from her support, He was able to minister during the three years of His adult ministry.
But there He was – hanging on a cross. In today’s world, we have cleaned up the cross – and polished it – and hung it as jewelry around our necks, or hung it on the wall as a piece of art. In reality – there was nothing pretty or polished or artistic about the cross. It was rough-hewn and dirty. (Consider that this part of the world doesn’t have many tall, sturdy trees. It is possible, and maybe even probable, that the crosses were used over and over again. Now, think about the smell and the insects associated with dried blood – not a pretty picture.) The cross was meant to rouse disgust and fear in the people. It was supposed to be a deterrent to crime. Only the worst “criminals” were crucified. No one in today’s world would think about wearing an electric chair on a chain around his or her neck.
Jesus had accepted Mary into His group, but the group was in hiding. There would have been many people who knew her past – and who would not have welcomed her into their lives. Without that small band of followers, without Someone to follow, her future looked bleak. Still, from a distance, she watched Him die. She watched as Joseph took down His body and placed it in a tomb. And she was among the first to be at the tomb to finish Jesus’ burial. She couldn’t stop His death, but she would honor Jesus by tending to His body.
John 20:1-2 (NIV) tells us, “Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said ‘They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don’t know where they have put him!’”
And while Peter and the other disciple ran to find out what she was talking about, Mary went back to the tomb. Not only was her Teacher dead from a horrible death, but she would not even have the chance to tend to His body, to perform the only service she could at this point. Her grief is overwhelming. Her world is shattered.
She turned away, and there He was, right in front of her! She didn’t recognize Him, but hoped that this person might be able to give her some information, some glimmer that would allow her to complete the final ministrations for her Lord. She begged for an answer – she had to know. She was expecting knowledge, but she was given LIFE! I imagine Jesus looking deep into her eyes – past the tears, past the heart-wrenching pain, past the confusion, and past the anger – and seeing her soul. He spoke her name. His compelling voice, His absolute authority reached through all of her emotions and she recognized Him. Her beloved Teacher was alive, standing right there in front of her, and asking her to do something for Him! Where there was darkness, now there was LIGHT. Where there was misery, now there was JOY. Where there was death, now there was LIFE!
“Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: ‘I have seen the Lord!’ And she told them that he had said these things to her.” (John 20:18, NIV)
And Mary rose from her bed to tend the Lord she thought was dead…”
(Was It A Morning Like This, Performed by Sandi Patty, words and music by Jim Croegaert, ©1978 Meadowgreen Music Company)
For some reason, I have always identified with Mary. I have tried to imagine her absolute despair as she watched her Teacher die the horrible death of crucifixion. Jesus had freed her from seven demons who possessed her, at a time and culture when no man would most likely even talk to her – because she had the double curse of being possessed and being a woman. Jesus accepted her into His group, and partly from her support, He was able to minister during the three years of His adult ministry.
But there He was – hanging on a cross. In today’s world, we have cleaned up the cross – and polished it – and hung it as jewelry around our necks, or hung it on the wall as a piece of art. In reality – there was nothing pretty or polished or artistic about the cross. It was rough-hewn and dirty. (Consider that this part of the world doesn’t have many tall, sturdy trees. It is possible, and maybe even probable, that the crosses were used over and over again. Now, think about the smell and the insects associated with dried blood – not a pretty picture.) The cross was meant to rouse disgust and fear in the people. It was supposed to be a deterrent to crime. Only the worst “criminals” were crucified. No one in today’s world would think about wearing an electric chair on a chain around his or her neck.
Jesus had accepted Mary into His group, but the group was in hiding. There would have been many people who knew her past – and who would not have welcomed her into their lives. Without that small band of followers, without Someone to follow, her future looked bleak. Still, from a distance, she watched Him die. She watched as Joseph took down His body and placed it in a tomb. And she was among the first to be at the tomb to finish Jesus’ burial. She couldn’t stop His death, but she would honor Jesus by tending to His body.
John 20:1-2 (NIV) tells us, “Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said ‘They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don’t know where they have put him!’”
And while Peter and the other disciple ran to find out what she was talking about, Mary went back to the tomb. Not only was her Teacher dead from a horrible death, but she would not even have the chance to tend to His body, to perform the only service she could at this point. Her grief is overwhelming. Her world is shattered.
She turned away, and there He was, right in front of her! She didn’t recognize Him, but hoped that this person might be able to give her some information, some glimmer that would allow her to complete the final ministrations for her Lord. She begged for an answer – she had to know. She was expecting knowledge, but she was given LIFE! I imagine Jesus looking deep into her eyes – past the tears, past the heart-wrenching pain, past the confusion, and past the anger – and seeing her soul. He spoke her name. His compelling voice, His absolute authority reached through all of her emotions and she recognized Him. Her beloved Teacher was alive, standing right there in front of her, and asking her to do something for Him! Where there was darkness, now there was LIGHT. Where there was misery, now there was JOY. Where there was death, now there was LIFE!
“Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: ‘I have seen the Lord!’ And she told them that he had said these things to her.” (John 20:18, NIV)
Monday, April 18, 2011
What a Weekend!
I just realized that it is mid-afternoon, and I haven’t blogged yet! For the one person who hangs on my every word – I’m truly sorry. For everyone else who hasn’t even noticed, no harm done.
This was one of those crazy, busy, hectic weekends – but so good is so many ways. First of all, my parents picked me up at work on Friday afternoon – they took me out to dinner, and spent the night with us. Then they came to our dress rehearsal on Saturday morning. There were still a couple of kinks to work out – but they got to see most of the program start to finish. There were a few minor things, and only one major thing – one of the older gentlemen in the choir passed out right before the last song. I found this alarming. But calm heads prevailed – they called 911 – and the EMT’s checked him out and pronounced him fine. (Apparently, he has done this before – but it was still a little scary.)
I couldn’t help myself – I had to try out the new bathing suit – so Saturday afternoon – despite the very windy conditions, I laid out. I only made it about 45 minutes though. It was fine when the sun was beating down on me, even with the wind, but when there was a cloud in front of the sun, it was COLD! I don’t know if I got tan lines, or windburn lines – but there is a faint mark showing the new edge of the bathing suit – so all is not in vain.
Sunday was a phenomenal day! Worship service yesterday morning was amazing! And last night’s performance was even more so. I do not know if the people in the audience were affected, but the people on the stage were moved. No matter how many times I hear the story, it never grows old.
“Now Thomas (also known as Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, ‘We have seen the Lord!’ But he said to them, ‘Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.’ A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Thought the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, ‘Peace be with you!’ Then he said to Thomas, ‘Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.’ Thomas said to him, ‘My Lord and my God!’” (John 20:24-28, NIV)
This was one of those crazy, busy, hectic weekends – but so good is so many ways. First of all, my parents picked me up at work on Friday afternoon – they took me out to dinner, and spent the night with us. Then they came to our dress rehearsal on Saturday morning. There were still a couple of kinks to work out – but they got to see most of the program start to finish. There were a few minor things, and only one major thing – one of the older gentlemen in the choir passed out right before the last song. I found this alarming. But calm heads prevailed – they called 911 – and the EMT’s checked him out and pronounced him fine. (Apparently, he has done this before – but it was still a little scary.)
I couldn’t help myself – I had to try out the new bathing suit – so Saturday afternoon – despite the very windy conditions, I laid out. I only made it about 45 minutes though. It was fine when the sun was beating down on me, even with the wind, but when there was a cloud in front of the sun, it was COLD! I don’t know if I got tan lines, or windburn lines – but there is a faint mark showing the new edge of the bathing suit – so all is not in vain.
Sunday was a phenomenal day! Worship service yesterday morning was amazing! And last night’s performance was even more so. I do not know if the people in the audience were affected, but the people on the stage were moved. No matter how many times I hear the story, it never grows old.
“Now Thomas (also known as Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, ‘We have seen the Lord!’ But he said to them, ‘Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.’ A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Thought the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, ‘Peace be with you!’ Then he said to Thomas, ‘Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.’ Thomas said to him, ‘My Lord and my God!’” (John 20:24-28, NIV)
Friday, April 15, 2011
A New Bathing Suit
Well – I spent my gift cards last night, and bought a new bathing suit. Both top and bottom are size 16! Dave needed some shorts for work, and I also purchased a new water bottle. Total retail was over $132. Sale price of everything was $88. I spent only $3.34 out of my pocket. (Technically, out of Dave’s pocket, but what is his is also mine, right?) After we got home, I put on my new bathing suit and let Dave take some pictures.
My very first thought was that there was NO WAY I was going to post those pictures on my blog – or anywhere else. All I could see was the saggy and droopy bits and the glaring imperfections. But then I thought that this blog is not about being perfect. It’s about my journey to lose weight – and part of that journey is learning to deal with my changing body. So, the pictures are there. The saggy and droopy parts are not going to go away. And it still possible to see how very far I’ve come. (Look at how much of the door you can see behind me – for a quick comparison, scroll down through all the pictures!)
So, I’m putting the pictures out there, as well as myself. And even as I say that, I know that the people who love me are not going to look at the flaws – they are cheering me on, happy that I have accomplished so much already. Just like I would be happy for anyone else. So, thank you for reading this, for supporting me through this journey.
I’ve used this verse recently, but right now, it is important for me, and worth repeating.
“I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his dearth, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:10-14, NIV)
My very first thought was that there was NO WAY I was going to post those pictures on my blog – or anywhere else. All I could see was the saggy and droopy bits and the glaring imperfections. But then I thought that this blog is not about being perfect. It’s about my journey to lose weight – and part of that journey is learning to deal with my changing body. So, the pictures are there. The saggy and droopy parts are not going to go away. And it still possible to see how very far I’ve come. (Look at how much of the door you can see behind me – for a quick comparison, scroll down through all the pictures!)
So, I’m putting the pictures out there, as well as myself. And even as I say that, I know that the people who love me are not going to look at the flaws – they are cheering me on, happy that I have accomplished so much already. Just like I would be happy for anyone else. So, thank you for reading this, for supporting me through this journey.
I’ve used this verse recently, but right now, it is important for me, and worth repeating.
“I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his dearth, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:10-14, NIV)
Thursday, April 14, 2011
They Didn't Know
Our church choir has been working very hard on our Easter musical. Our performance is this coming Sunday evening, so this week is full of practices, and last minute polishing to make sure we are ready to present this awesome message. One of the songs in the musical is called, “They Didn’t Know…” It talks about how the people surrounding Jesus’ crucifixion didn’t know why He was there.
I have thought a lot about that song. The disciples didn’t know that Jesus wasn’t here to be an earthly king. The crowds at the triumphal entry didn’t know He wasn’t here to save them from Roman oppression. The priests and religious leaders of the day didn’t know He was not only representing the God they claimed to serve, but that He actually WAS that very God. The Romans didn’t know He wasn’t a criminal. Nobody knew that He would only be in the grave for three days. The list goes on and on and on.
The truly tragic point in all of this is that these people didn’t know, because they didn’t hear and understand what Jesus said during His time here. He told them that He was from the Father, and one with the Father. He told them He came to seek and to save the lost. He told them He would die, and be raised again, in three days. He told them, and they didn’t listen. They knew what they knew, and nothing else mattered. Even after some of their companions came with the report of actually seeing Jesus alive, they didn’t believe. I cannot begin to imagine the rollercoaster of emotions the people surrounding Jesus felt the last week of His life: the elation when they thought He would be crowned a king – the confusion when He talked about dying – the despair when they saw Him hanging on the cross – and the jubilation when, at last, they finally realized that HE WAS RISEN!
I completely identify with those people. My mind was made up, and I didn’t want to be confused with the facts. I completely ignored the studies linking diabetes, high blood pressure, the risks of heart attack and stroke, sleep apnea, and a multitude of other ailments to obesity. Surely, those things don’t apply to me! But despite my denial, they DID apply to me. I was killing myself – largely because I didn’t want to believe the facts. Do I regret that? I do, with every fiber of my being. But at the same time, I am thrilled that I have finally “seen the light” and the error of my ways. Ignorance is not an excuse, especially when I have the information within reach.
I have thought a lot about that song. The disciples didn’t know that Jesus wasn’t here to be an earthly king. The crowds at the triumphal entry didn’t know He wasn’t here to save them from Roman oppression. The priests and religious leaders of the day didn’t know He was not only representing the God they claimed to serve, but that He actually WAS that very God. The Romans didn’t know He wasn’t a criminal. Nobody knew that He would only be in the grave for three days. The list goes on and on and on.
The truly tragic point in all of this is that these people didn’t know, because they didn’t hear and understand what Jesus said during His time here. He told them that He was from the Father, and one with the Father. He told them He came to seek and to save the lost. He told them He would die, and be raised again, in three days. He told them, and they didn’t listen. They knew what they knew, and nothing else mattered. Even after some of their companions came with the report of actually seeing Jesus alive, they didn’t believe. I cannot begin to imagine the rollercoaster of emotions the people surrounding Jesus felt the last week of His life: the elation when they thought He would be crowned a king – the confusion when He talked about dying – the despair when they saw Him hanging on the cross – and the jubilation when, at last, they finally realized that HE WAS RISEN!
I completely identify with those people. My mind was made up, and I didn’t want to be confused with the facts. I completely ignored the studies linking diabetes, high blood pressure, the risks of heart attack and stroke, sleep apnea, and a multitude of other ailments to obesity. Surely, those things don’t apply to me! But despite my denial, they DID apply to me. I was killing myself – largely because I didn’t want to believe the facts. Do I regret that? I do, with every fiber of my being. But at the same time, I am thrilled that I have finally “seen the light” and the error of my ways. Ignorance is not an excuse, especially when I have the information within reach.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Being Feminine
Growing up, I was a tomboy of the highest class. There was no tree too high to climb. My knees were perpetual scabs. I was far too klutzy to be dainty – and I liked hanging with the guys so much more than primping and fussing in front of a mirror. My sister, on the other hand, has had feminine wiles pretty much from the time she was born. As an infant, she had big brown eyes, and dark ringlets, and in at least one picture of us together, people asked my Mom where she got such a pretty doll for me. Please understand, it is not because my Mom didn’t try to make me ladylike…I just had no patience whatsoever with the things usually associated with little girls. Granted, I did play with dolls, but mostly because I wanted to be the doctor for all their illnesses. (When I was learning about Helen Keller in school, all my dolls tragically came down with scarlet fever – and became blind, mute, or deaf – or some combination of the three.)
Fast forward to my middle school years. I was still a tomboy – still klutzy – and now we can add awkward to the mix. I was the only girl in my Sunday School class of 14 or so. They used to fight over me – over who had to sit next to me, that is. When we went to church camp – my father had to make the boys take turns sitting next to me in the car. Whatever the mysterious “it” was, I didn’t have it. But my sister did – even though she was three years younger than I was – if you were looking for any of the boys my age and you found her, you would most likely find them. By the time we were both old enough to date (not before age 16!), I went steady, and she dated several guys at once.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining about any of this, although I’m sure I did my fair share back then. I have just always been in awe of her femininity, and wondered how she knew what to do, when I couldn’t seem to figure it out no matter how hard I tried.
All of a sudden, though, I feel feminine. I don’t think it is simply the pounds that are gone. When I look for clothes, I look for feminine details – ruffles, bows, sparkly elements. I am wearing more dresses, thanks to the friend who gave me clothes recently. I have been wearing makeup and jewelry. My Mom seems relieved that I have finally found myself. I’m still scratching my head, wondering exactly what happened.
I do believe that feeling good about myself, for the first time in forever, is part of this new-found femininity. I will probably never be a lady in the truest since of the word, but I like the feeling of liking myself.
Fast forward to my middle school years. I was still a tomboy – still klutzy – and now we can add awkward to the mix. I was the only girl in my Sunday School class of 14 or so. They used to fight over me – over who had to sit next to me, that is. When we went to church camp – my father had to make the boys take turns sitting next to me in the car. Whatever the mysterious “it” was, I didn’t have it. But my sister did – even though she was three years younger than I was – if you were looking for any of the boys my age and you found her, you would most likely find them. By the time we were both old enough to date (not before age 16!), I went steady, and she dated several guys at once.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining about any of this, although I’m sure I did my fair share back then. I have just always been in awe of her femininity, and wondered how she knew what to do, when I couldn’t seem to figure it out no matter how hard I tried.
All of a sudden, though, I feel feminine. I don’t think it is simply the pounds that are gone. When I look for clothes, I look for feminine details – ruffles, bows, sparkly elements. I am wearing more dresses, thanks to the friend who gave me clothes recently. I have been wearing makeup and jewelry. My Mom seems relieved that I have finally found myself. I’m still scratching my head, wondering exactly what happened.
I do believe that feeling good about myself, for the first time in forever, is part of this new-found femininity. I will probably never be a lady in the truest since of the word, but I like the feeling of liking myself.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
A Look Back
How much have you lost?
1 pound = a Guinea Pig
1.5 pounds = a dozen Krispy Kreme glazed donuts
2 pounds = a rack of baby back ribs
3 pounds = an average human brain
4 pounds = an ostrich egg
5 pounds = a Chihuahua
6 pounds = a human’s skin
7.5 pounds = an average newborn
8 pounds = a human head
10 pounds = chemical additives an American consumes each year
11 pounds = an average housecat
12 pounds = a Bald Eagle
15 pounds = 10 dozen large eggs
16 pounds = a sperm whale’s brain
20 pounds = an automobile tire
23 pounds = amount of pizza an average American eats in a year
24 pounds = a 3-gallon tub of super-premium ice cream
25 pounds = an average 2 year old
30 pounds = amount of cheese an average American eats in a year
33 pounds = a cinder block
36 pounds = a mid-size microwave
40 pounds = a 5-gallon bottle of water or an average human leg
44 pounds = an elephant’s heart
50 pounds = a small bale of hay
55 pounds = a 5000 BTU air conditioner
60 pounds = an elephant’s penis (yep, weights more than his heart!)
66 pounds = fats and oils an average American eats in a year
70 pounds = an Irish Setter
77 pounds = a gold brick
80 pounds = the World’s Largest Ball of Tape
90 pounds = a newborn calf
100 pounds = a 2 month old horse
111 pounds = red meat an average American eats in a year
117 pounds = an average fashion model (and she’s 5’11”)
118 pounds = the complete Encyclopedia Britannica
120 pounds = amount of trash you throw away in a month
130 pounds = a newborn giraffe
138 pounds = potatoes an average American eats in a year
140 pounds = refined sugar an average American eats in a year
144 pounds = an average adult woman (and she’s 5’4”)
150 pounds = the complete Oxford English Dictionary
187 pounds = an average adult man
200 pounds = 2 Bloodhounds
235 pounds = Arnold Schwarzenegger
300 pounds = an average football lineman
400 pounds = a Welsh pony
I first printed this list on September 17, 2010 – when I was at about 150 pounds erased. It makes me smile when I read this – and I thought it was worth looking at again. I’ve erased two bloodhounds – or TWO 2 month old horses. And I’m rapidly approaching Arnold Schwarzenegger. That is exciting!
My Dad asked me today if I was still riding the wave of euphoria from yesterday. I have to confess, I most certainly am! And I’m going to go shopping for a new bathing suit on Thursday night! I’m so excited about that. And I will post new pictures as soon as I find something!
We are working hard on our Easter musical at church. In this final week of preparation, we will be spending several hours in practice. The effort will be well worth it, when it comes to the performance. All of the staging, banging out notes, drama rehearsals, and tech rehearsals will combine to make a total presentation, even though I’m sure at times, all of the participants have balked a little at the work involved. It is the same thing for this journey for me – it takes the preparation, the consistency, and the pep talks to get to my final goal – one step at a time!
1 pound = a Guinea Pig
1.5 pounds = a dozen Krispy Kreme glazed donuts
2 pounds = a rack of baby back ribs
3 pounds = an average human brain
4 pounds = an ostrich egg
5 pounds = a Chihuahua
6 pounds = a human’s skin
7.5 pounds = an average newborn
8 pounds = a human head
10 pounds = chemical additives an American consumes each year
11 pounds = an average housecat
12 pounds = a Bald Eagle
15 pounds = 10 dozen large eggs
16 pounds = a sperm whale’s brain
20 pounds = an automobile tire
23 pounds = amount of pizza an average American eats in a year
24 pounds = a 3-gallon tub of super-premium ice cream
25 pounds = an average 2 year old
30 pounds = amount of cheese an average American eats in a year
33 pounds = a cinder block
36 pounds = a mid-size microwave
40 pounds = a 5-gallon bottle of water or an average human leg
44 pounds = an elephant’s heart
50 pounds = a small bale of hay
55 pounds = a 5000 BTU air conditioner
60 pounds = an elephant’s penis (yep, weights more than his heart!)
66 pounds = fats and oils an average American eats in a year
70 pounds = an Irish Setter
77 pounds = a gold brick
80 pounds = the World’s Largest Ball of Tape
90 pounds = a newborn calf
100 pounds = a 2 month old horse
111 pounds = red meat an average American eats in a year
117 pounds = an average fashion model (and she’s 5’11”)
118 pounds = the complete Encyclopedia Britannica
120 pounds = amount of trash you throw away in a month
130 pounds = a newborn giraffe
138 pounds = potatoes an average American eats in a year
140 pounds = refined sugar an average American eats in a year
144 pounds = an average adult woman (and she’s 5’4”)
150 pounds = the complete Oxford English Dictionary
187 pounds = an average adult man
200 pounds = 2 Bloodhounds
235 pounds = Arnold Schwarzenegger
300 pounds = an average football lineman
400 pounds = a Welsh pony
I first printed this list on September 17, 2010 – when I was at about 150 pounds erased. It makes me smile when I read this – and I thought it was worth looking at again. I’ve erased two bloodhounds – or TWO 2 month old horses. And I’m rapidly approaching Arnold Schwarzenegger. That is exciting!
My Dad asked me today if I was still riding the wave of euphoria from yesterday. I have to confess, I most certainly am! And I’m going to go shopping for a new bathing suit on Thursday night! I’m so excited about that. And I will post new pictures as soon as I find something!
We are working hard on our Easter musical at church. In this final week of preparation, we will be spending several hours in practice. The effort will be well worth it, when it comes to the performance. All of the staging, banging out notes, drama rehearsals, and tech rehearsals will combine to make a total presentation, even though I’m sure at times, all of the participants have balked a little at the work involved. It is the same thing for this journey for me – it takes the preparation, the consistency, and the pep talks to get to my final goal – one step at a time!
Monday, April 11, 2011
The Best Cup of Coffee...EVER!
This morning I had the BEST CUP OF COFFEE EVER! The flavor was nice – Cinnamon Pastry – YUM! But that isn’t what I’m talking about. This was the best cup of coffee ever because it was some of the coffee that I purchased for my Keurig – to celebrate dropping 200 pounds. I have been anticipating this milestone for weeks now – and ordered the coffee ahead of time, but promised myself that I absolutely would not have even one cup of this coffee until I had hit this goal – and this morning it happened!
I have a poster up in my cubicle with a big, glittery “200” on it. My boss suggested I wear some of my big clothes over my regular clothes, but I didn’t keep any. So, I did the next best thing. The one thing I do have from 200 pounds ago is my favorite bathrobe. It wasn’t skin tight – but it was snug – and now I can wrap it around my body nearly double – so I brought that to work to show people.
I will probably be obnoxious ALL DAY LONG. This is just fair warning to anyone who might encounter me today. I’ve worked hard to get here – and I am going to celebrate – long and hard! And all the frustrations over being so close and not actually hitting the mark? They are gone – vanished like a puff of smoke.
I’m not there yet – I still have about 55 more pounds to get to my goal. But look how far I’ve come! This is amazing. I’m doing the happy, happy, happy dance – all day long – all week long!
Many, many, many thanks to all my supporters – you know who you are! And to everyone who has given me clothes, and hugs, and encouragement – and a pep talk when I have been discouraged – well, words just don’t express my gratitude!
As a side note – I am making a very conscious effort NOT to say I’ve lost 200 pounds, or to say that they are “gone forever.” I certainly don’t want them back – but I know that getting rid of this weight is only part of the journey. Keeping it off is my lifetime commitment!
“I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his dearth, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:10-14, NIV)
I have a poster up in my cubicle with a big, glittery “200” on it. My boss suggested I wear some of my big clothes over my regular clothes, but I didn’t keep any. So, I did the next best thing. The one thing I do have from 200 pounds ago is my favorite bathrobe. It wasn’t skin tight – but it was snug – and now I can wrap it around my body nearly double – so I brought that to work to show people.
I will probably be obnoxious ALL DAY LONG. This is just fair warning to anyone who might encounter me today. I’ve worked hard to get here – and I am going to celebrate – long and hard! And all the frustrations over being so close and not actually hitting the mark? They are gone – vanished like a puff of smoke.
I’m not there yet – I still have about 55 more pounds to get to my goal. But look how far I’ve come! This is amazing. I’m doing the happy, happy, happy dance – all day long – all week long!
Many, many, many thanks to all my supporters – you know who you are! And to everyone who has given me clothes, and hugs, and encouragement – and a pep talk when I have been discouraged – well, words just don’t express my gratitude!
As a side note – I am making a very conscious effort NOT to say I’ve lost 200 pounds, or to say that they are “gone forever.” I certainly don’t want them back – but I know that getting rid of this weight is only part of the journey. Keeping it off is my lifetime commitment!
“I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his dearth, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:10-14, NIV)
Friday, April 8, 2011
Listening to the Voices
OK – I admit it. I hear voices inside my head. These voices don’t tell me to kill somebody (usually), but they are very persistent. You know what I mean – the ones that keep up a running commentary – comparing me to everyone around me. “Am I bigger than that person?” “At least my hair is combed.” “I would never wear THAT.” But if I’m honest, most of the time I’m not the one comparing favorably: “She is so pretty.” “I look horrible, compared to her.” “I’m so fat.”
These voices have become such a part of my life that I don’t always even realize that I’m listening. Occasionally, I say something out loud, almost always to my husband, “Please tell me I don’t look like that…” He has learned that when something like that actually comes out of my mouth, I’m usually feeling particularly vulnerable, and he generally responds with a positive affirmation. (That has not ALWAYS been the case, but he learned that’s the best way to avoid tears.)
Ironically, I get really upset with friends who put themselves down, and constantly compare themselves to others, mainly because I don’t look at them with the same critical eye that I use when I look at myself. I want all my friends to have a healthy self-esteem, and shining confidence in themselves.
I did pretty well yesterday not dwelling on the three pounds. I enjoyed people complimenting my new outfit – and smiled when a few went so far as to use words like “sexy” and “flirty.” And, as expected, I lost four pounds this morning – losing all the water weight, and a little more.
I think it’s time I really work on listening to the voice I use with my friends – following my own sound and sage advice. I can be very insightful with other people, so why can’t I do the same thing for me?
I’ve heard it said that when something is repeated in Scripture seven times – it is very important to pay attention to it. Seven is a number with special meaning in the Bible. When I looked up the Scripture for today, I found this exact phrase (in bold, my emphasis) not seven times, but NINE times. Pay attention to the word that is in all capital letters – it is very important:
“One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, ‘Of all the commandments, which is the most important?’ ‘The most important one,’ answered Jesus, ‘is this: “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” The second is this: “Love your neighbor AS yourself.” There is no commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:28-31, NIV; see also Leviticus 19:18, Matthew 19:19, Matthew 22:31, Mark 12:33, Luke 10:27, Romans 13:9, Galatians 5:14, and James 2:8)
I’ve said this before, but obviously, it bears repeating: If you write this phrase as a mathematical equation, it would read: Love your neighbor = loving yourself. And if I do NOT love myself, I cannot love my neighbor. Nine times God directed the authors in the Bible to preserve these words for me to read. I believe that the Bible is the inspired Word of God – and I believe He wants me to live by those words. And that means I need to live by this phrase. So, l’m going to make a concentrated effort to quell the negative voices in my head – and say to myself what I would say to a dear friend.
These voices have become such a part of my life that I don’t always even realize that I’m listening. Occasionally, I say something out loud, almost always to my husband, “Please tell me I don’t look like that…” He has learned that when something like that actually comes out of my mouth, I’m usually feeling particularly vulnerable, and he generally responds with a positive affirmation. (That has not ALWAYS been the case, but he learned that’s the best way to avoid tears.)
Ironically, I get really upset with friends who put themselves down, and constantly compare themselves to others, mainly because I don’t look at them with the same critical eye that I use when I look at myself. I want all my friends to have a healthy self-esteem, and shining confidence in themselves.
I did pretty well yesterday not dwelling on the three pounds. I enjoyed people complimenting my new outfit – and smiled when a few went so far as to use words like “sexy” and “flirty.” And, as expected, I lost four pounds this morning – losing all the water weight, and a little more.
I think it’s time I really work on listening to the voice I use with my friends – following my own sound and sage advice. I can be very insightful with other people, so why can’t I do the same thing for me?
I’ve heard it said that when something is repeated in Scripture seven times – it is very important to pay attention to it. Seven is a number with special meaning in the Bible. When I looked up the Scripture for today, I found this exact phrase (in bold, my emphasis) not seven times, but NINE times. Pay attention to the word that is in all capital letters – it is very important:
“One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, ‘Of all the commandments, which is the most important?’ ‘The most important one,’ answered Jesus, ‘is this: “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” The second is this: “Love your neighbor AS yourself.” There is no commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:28-31, NIV; see also Leviticus 19:18, Matthew 19:19, Matthew 22:31, Mark 12:33, Luke 10:27, Romans 13:9, Galatians 5:14, and James 2:8)
I’ve said this before, but obviously, it bears repeating: If you write this phrase as a mathematical equation, it would read: Love your neighbor = loving yourself. And if I do NOT love myself, I cannot love my neighbor. Nine times God directed the authors in the Bible to preserve these words for me to read. I believe that the Bible is the inspired Word of God – and I believe He wants me to live by those words. And that means I need to live by this phrase. So, l’m going to make a concentrated effort to quell the negative voices in my head – and say to myself what I would say to a dear friend.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Practice What You Preach
A miscommunication. A prescription left sitting at the pharmacy, instead of in my bag of pills. A forced trial of the doctor’s way, instead of my way. And I gained three pounds this morning. Sigh.
Now, logically, I can say that this is just fluid gain, resulting from not taking the lasix last night. Rationally, I can say that as soon as I am able to take the lasix again, I will lose those three pounds and possibly a little more. Reasonably, I can say that this is, at best, a temporary and reversible setback. Sensibly, I can make note of the fact that this weight gain represents only 1.51% of the weight I have dumped. But you know what? I gained the weight in a very emotional connection to food. I have disposed of that weight involving the same emotions. I find it extremely difficult to be logical, rational, reasonable or sensible about gaining ANY of this weight back.
Having said that, I have to say that I recently said this to a friend who is going through some difficult times:
“There are many things you absolutely cannot change. But the one thing you can ALWAYS change is yourself. And that is one of the hardest things in the world to do. Hard? Definitely! Effective? I can’t change the circumstance, but I can change me. Worth it? ABSOLUTELY. Maybe you can find one thing today - and say, ‘I cannot change this circumstance, this person, this thing that overwhelms me. But just for today, I refuse to let it control my thoughts, my actions, my words, or my attitude.’ And then when you find yourself gravitating to just that one problem - just for today - pray hard - reach out and ask friends to pray - talk to me about it. See if you can change yourself in response to that problem - and if a whole day seems too long, then maybe just for a few minutes. The point is to start somewhere. Baby steps are perfect - but nothing will happen if you don't even take a baby step.”
OUCH!!! Sounds like I really need to take my own advice. So, for today, I am NOT going to dwell on those three pounds. When I start thinking about them, I’m going to reach out to my friends to get a better perspective. (That’s fair warning – I might be calling on YOU!) I will choose, instead, to think about a friend who unexpectedly sent me a bag of clothes – filled with dresses and skirts – the part of my wardrobe that has been mostly neglected (mainly because most of my friends/family who are giving me clothes don’t wear that many dresses or skirts). Today I have on a beautiful black lace skirt, and a cropped red sweater with ruffles along the hem and neckline. Today, I feel very feminine, and dare I say it, beautiful, despite the thing that I am NOT going to dwell on! I will report tomorrow how I’ve done keeping that resolution, and practicing what I preach.
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.” (Philippians 4:8-9, NIV.)
Now, logically, I can say that this is just fluid gain, resulting from not taking the lasix last night. Rationally, I can say that as soon as I am able to take the lasix again, I will lose those three pounds and possibly a little more. Reasonably, I can say that this is, at best, a temporary and reversible setback. Sensibly, I can make note of the fact that this weight gain represents only 1.51% of the weight I have dumped. But you know what? I gained the weight in a very emotional connection to food. I have disposed of that weight involving the same emotions. I find it extremely difficult to be logical, rational, reasonable or sensible about gaining ANY of this weight back.
Having said that, I have to say that I recently said this to a friend who is going through some difficult times:
“There are many things you absolutely cannot change. But the one thing you can ALWAYS change is yourself. And that is one of the hardest things in the world to do. Hard? Definitely! Effective? I can’t change the circumstance, but I can change me. Worth it? ABSOLUTELY. Maybe you can find one thing today - and say, ‘I cannot change this circumstance, this person, this thing that overwhelms me. But just for today, I refuse to let it control my thoughts, my actions, my words, or my attitude.’ And then when you find yourself gravitating to just that one problem - just for today - pray hard - reach out and ask friends to pray - talk to me about it. See if you can change yourself in response to that problem - and if a whole day seems too long, then maybe just for a few minutes. The point is to start somewhere. Baby steps are perfect - but nothing will happen if you don't even take a baby step.”
OUCH!!! Sounds like I really need to take my own advice. So, for today, I am NOT going to dwell on those three pounds. When I start thinking about them, I’m going to reach out to my friends to get a better perspective. (That’s fair warning – I might be calling on YOU!) I will choose, instead, to think about a friend who unexpectedly sent me a bag of clothes – filled with dresses and skirts – the part of my wardrobe that has been mostly neglected (mainly because most of my friends/family who are giving me clothes don’t wear that many dresses or skirts). Today I have on a beautiful black lace skirt, and a cropped red sweater with ruffles along the hem and neckline. Today, I feel very feminine, and dare I say it, beautiful, despite the thing that I am NOT going to dwell on! I will report tomorrow how I’ve done keeping that resolution, and practicing what I preach.
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.” (Philippians 4:8-9, NIV.)
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Logos and Jingles
logo – a name, symbol, or trademark designed for easy and definite recognition, especially one borne on a single printing plate or piece of type
jingle – a catchy, often musical advertising slogan
http://www.thefreedictionary.com
These two things have become such a part of our culture that for many of us, seeing the one and hearing the other (or a combination of seeing and hearing) puts a definite product or company in our minds. When I see a capital T in a star, I immediately think of the song, “You can trust your car to the man who wears a star…” and picture the gas station this represents. OK, I know I’m showing my age, but there it is. I am amazed to see even very small children recognize the golden arches, and want to stop for French fries.
Today I was thinking what my logo and/or jingle would be – following weight loss surgery. For some people, there are very definite signs that they have had weight loss surgery – besides the weight they have lost. Some people have belly overhang (typically called an “apron”); some people have a great deal of loose skin in the face and neck area; some people lose their hair, or have severe deficiencies that cause it to look and feel like straw; and some people get skin all over that looks like crepe paper. I am more than blessed in these areas: there is a little belly overhang, but nothing drastic, despite my fears there would be; my face looks younger than it ever has, I think; because of the surgery that I chose, my hair has not had any issues; and while some of my skin looks “crepe-y,” it is not too severe, as of yet, anyway. In fact, if I met someone new who did not know my history, it is doubtful he or she would ever think to ask if I have had WLS.
Having the surgery was a dramatic turning point for me, but as I reflect on all of this, I realize that the surgery does not DEFINE who I am. I am many things to many people: wife, daughter, sister, friend, employee, choir member, vanpool rider and alternative driver, and the list goes on and on. I have many talents. I have many aspects to my character, which change frequently. None of the things that I AM is dependent on this surgery.
Someone once asked me what I wanted on my tombstone when I die. It was not difficult for me to come up with an answer for that one (even though I really hope there is no tombstone – but that is another soapbox!) After I die, I want people to think of me this way: “She was loved.” That’s all. Nothing else.
I will say this, if ever there were any question in my mind about whether or not I was loved, this journey has shown me just how much I AM loved. The support I have received has overwhelmed me.
“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love…No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.” (1 John 4:7-8 & 12)
jingle – a catchy, often musical advertising slogan
http://www.thefreedictionary.com
These two things have become such a part of our culture that for many of us, seeing the one and hearing the other (or a combination of seeing and hearing) puts a definite product or company in our minds. When I see a capital T in a star, I immediately think of the song, “You can trust your car to the man who wears a star…” and picture the gas station this represents. OK, I know I’m showing my age, but there it is. I am amazed to see even very small children recognize the golden arches, and want to stop for French fries.
Today I was thinking what my logo and/or jingle would be – following weight loss surgery. For some people, there are very definite signs that they have had weight loss surgery – besides the weight they have lost. Some people have belly overhang (typically called an “apron”); some people have a great deal of loose skin in the face and neck area; some people lose their hair, or have severe deficiencies that cause it to look and feel like straw; and some people get skin all over that looks like crepe paper. I am more than blessed in these areas: there is a little belly overhang, but nothing drastic, despite my fears there would be; my face looks younger than it ever has, I think; because of the surgery that I chose, my hair has not had any issues; and while some of my skin looks “crepe-y,” it is not too severe, as of yet, anyway. In fact, if I met someone new who did not know my history, it is doubtful he or she would ever think to ask if I have had WLS.
Having the surgery was a dramatic turning point for me, but as I reflect on all of this, I realize that the surgery does not DEFINE who I am. I am many things to many people: wife, daughter, sister, friend, employee, choir member, vanpool rider and alternative driver, and the list goes on and on. I have many talents. I have many aspects to my character, which change frequently. None of the things that I AM is dependent on this surgery.
Someone once asked me what I wanted on my tombstone when I die. It was not difficult for me to come up with an answer for that one (even though I really hope there is no tombstone – but that is another soapbox!) After I die, I want people to think of me this way: “She was loved.” That’s all. Nothing else.
I will say this, if ever there were any question in my mind about whether or not I was loved, this journey has shown me just how much I AM loved. The support I have received has overwhelmed me.
“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love…No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.” (1 John 4:7-8 & 12)
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Sporting a 'Tude
I’m “sporting a ‘tude” today. It’s not pretty. I’m not happy with anything or anyone. To the people who have already encountered my ugly attitude today, I apologize. To the people who have yet to encounter my ugly attitude today, I apologize in advance. I’m pretty sure the best thing I can do today is stay out of everyone’s way – keep my head down – and just do what I have to do. I know that the funk will eventually blow over.
“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves.” (I Peter 3:3-5, NIV)
I have always read this verse with a mixture of awe and envy. Perhaps more than any other verse in the Bible – this verse describes someone completely opposite of who I am. “The unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit…” – great words, but if I asked friends to describe me in a list of 100 words – I doubt “gentle and quiet” would even make the inventory. Don’t get me wrong – I have always wanted to be this woman, or the woman in Proverbs 31. And I believe that I am a “work in progress.” But I have such a long way to go to get where I think God wants me to be in this area. What a blessing that God is patient with me on this journey.
I made a decision today; I decided that when I reach that ever-elusive 200 pounds – I’m going to make a poster with “200” in big, glittery numbers – and I’m going to have it up at work – and carry it around with me after work. That will be a huge accomplishment – and I’m going to brag a little about it. (Of course, as I say that, I realize it sort of goes against the “gentle and quiet spirit” I want to cultivate. Hmmm.) I’m going to do it anyway. I want to celebrate that milestone. It would be great if we could point to a specific point in time and say, “I have arrived. I now have a gentle and quiet spirit” or “I trust in the Lord completely.” Those milestones are not so tangible, and it will probably never happen that we recognize those things in ourselves.
So, I guess I will just keep plugging away – both at the weight and the process of becoming the woman God wants me to be. And maybe, someday, they both will happen.
“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves.” (I Peter 3:3-5, NIV)
I have always read this verse with a mixture of awe and envy. Perhaps more than any other verse in the Bible – this verse describes someone completely opposite of who I am. “The unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit…” – great words, but if I asked friends to describe me in a list of 100 words – I doubt “gentle and quiet” would even make the inventory. Don’t get me wrong – I have always wanted to be this woman, or the woman in Proverbs 31. And I believe that I am a “work in progress.” But I have such a long way to go to get where I think God wants me to be in this area. What a blessing that God is patient with me on this journey.
I made a decision today; I decided that when I reach that ever-elusive 200 pounds – I’m going to make a poster with “200” in big, glittery numbers – and I’m going to have it up at work – and carry it around with me after work. That will be a huge accomplishment – and I’m going to brag a little about it. (Of course, as I say that, I realize it sort of goes against the “gentle and quiet spirit” I want to cultivate. Hmmm.) I’m going to do it anyway. I want to celebrate that milestone. It would be great if we could point to a specific point in time and say, “I have arrived. I now have a gentle and quiet spirit” or “I trust in the Lord completely.” Those milestones are not so tangible, and it will probably never happen that we recognize those things in ourselves.
So, I guess I will just keep plugging away – both at the weight and the process of becoming the woman God wants me to be. And maybe, someday, they both will happen.
Monday, April 4, 2011
My Friday Got Better...
After my sob-story blog on Friday, I have to report that my Friday got a LOT better! Not long after I finished blogging, I got a call on my work number. I didn’t recognize the number, so I answered my usual way, “This is Teri. How may I help you?” The caller asked if I listened to the radio at work. I replied that I did, and she asked what station I listened to. I named a local station, and she said, “You are our listen at work winner!” Not only was I on the radio, but I received a family four pack to Stone Mountain, AND 10 movie tickets to a new movie coming out. WOW! My husband, bless him, went to the station to pick everything up for me. I have never, ever won anything like that before, and it was even better because my morning had been so bad!
By Friday night, the pain in my foot was so intense that I decided to try my scary gout medicine. (The instructions say, “Take two pills, then one every hour until the pain goes away, or you get diarrhea.) The good news – the pain went away. The bad news – I was in the bathroom a lot of the weekend. But I consider that a small price to pay for getting rid of the pain, so it’s still good!
The rest of the weekend was wonderful, even though I didn’t do much. I got to lay out a little bit yesterday. We had a great day at church! Some dear friends of ours joined the church family where we are now attending. And last night we had a wonderful time with other dear friends, sharing a meal and fellowship together.
My Dad is doing well – in fact, he taught Sunday School and preached yesterday! So thankful that he is feeling better! And he told me that not only did he feel like he had maintained but had actually gained ground. Apparently, for several weeks he has left the pulpit completely fatigued, and turning gray. Yesterday, however, he stepped out of the pulpit, feeling good. He color was good, and he says that it was significant improvement from what he had been feeling.
God is so good to me! And I have so much to be thankful for! This blog is about my feelings – and sometimes what I feel is not always positive. But please understand that doesn’t mean I forget all my blessings! And my friends and family who spend so much time encouraging me and supporting me are right at the top of my blessing list!
By Friday night, the pain in my foot was so intense that I decided to try my scary gout medicine. (The instructions say, “Take two pills, then one every hour until the pain goes away, or you get diarrhea.) The good news – the pain went away. The bad news – I was in the bathroom a lot of the weekend. But I consider that a small price to pay for getting rid of the pain, so it’s still good!
The rest of the weekend was wonderful, even though I didn’t do much. I got to lay out a little bit yesterday. We had a great day at church! Some dear friends of ours joined the church family where we are now attending. And last night we had a wonderful time with other dear friends, sharing a meal and fellowship together.
My Dad is doing well – in fact, he taught Sunday School and preached yesterday! So thankful that he is feeling better! And he told me that not only did he feel like he had maintained but had actually gained ground. Apparently, for several weeks he has left the pulpit completely fatigued, and turning gray. Yesterday, however, he stepped out of the pulpit, feeling good. He color was good, and he says that it was significant improvement from what he had been feeling.
God is so good to me! And I have so much to be thankful for! This blog is about my feelings – and sometimes what I feel is not always positive. But please understand that doesn’t mean I forget all my blessings! And my friends and family who spend so much time encouraging me and supporting me are right at the top of my blessing list!
Friday, April 1, 2011
How Can Friday Possibly Be a Bad Day?
Start with the fact that I have a mysterious pain in my foot. (I say “pain” like it’s no big thing, but truthfully, I can hardly walk. There are no apparent signs of injury. There might be a little swelling, but nothing dramatic. It hurts like gout – but doesn’t exhibit the telltale signs: swelling, redness, and it’s not in a joint.) While Dave was working last night – I fell asleep in my chair, and didn’t get ready for bed until after midnight. By that time, the pain was excessive, so I took some Tylenol PM. That was my first mistake. Normally, I need to take it early enough to have at least eight hours of sleep. I would only get about five hours, and it isn’t enough to “sleep off” the medication.
Then I slept completely through my alarm this morning, waking up only when my husband says, “It’s twenty after six; are you going to work?” I’m supposed to BE at the vanpool stop at 6:25. There is no way that I’m going to make it. I fly around – trying to get ready in a great big hurry. Someone texts me from the vanpool, to see if I’m riding. I tell them I might make the second stop – but in my heart, I know I won’t. I grab my lunch, but don’t remember that I didn’t finish fixing it until I get to work. (I always try to make it before I go to bed – which makes my mornings much less dramatic. So of course, the one day that I needed it in a hurry, I didn’t have it done! Sigh!)
I didn’t get my morning cup of coffee, reasoning that I would have time for that AFTER I got to work. I was out of the door in nine minutes – a new personal record, I might add – but it was not fast enough to catch the vanpool – at either stop. So my poor, long-suffering husband had to drive me all the way in to work. That worried me because he is lacking sleep from closing at the pizza place. Fortunately, he doesn’t have to do anything until 4:00 this afternoon, but the drive home from my work by himself on little sleep isn’t a good thing. He just called me to say he made it. Double sigh!
I put my makeup on in the car, to save time – and I poked myself in the eye with the mascara wand. My hair was sticking up in every direction this morning (it can’t just BEHAVE when I’m in a big hurry???) – so I wet it down, but didn’t take the time to blow it dry. I have no idea what it looks like now. I didn’t even weigh this morning, which is very rare for me. Triple sigh!
And yet, in the midst of everything, I know that God is sitting on His throne, and He is in control.
“I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33, NIV)
Then I slept completely through my alarm this morning, waking up only when my husband says, “It’s twenty after six; are you going to work?” I’m supposed to BE at the vanpool stop at 6:25. There is no way that I’m going to make it. I fly around – trying to get ready in a great big hurry. Someone texts me from the vanpool, to see if I’m riding. I tell them I might make the second stop – but in my heart, I know I won’t. I grab my lunch, but don’t remember that I didn’t finish fixing it until I get to work. (I always try to make it before I go to bed – which makes my mornings much less dramatic. So of course, the one day that I needed it in a hurry, I didn’t have it done! Sigh!)
I didn’t get my morning cup of coffee, reasoning that I would have time for that AFTER I got to work. I was out of the door in nine minutes – a new personal record, I might add – but it was not fast enough to catch the vanpool – at either stop. So my poor, long-suffering husband had to drive me all the way in to work. That worried me because he is lacking sleep from closing at the pizza place. Fortunately, he doesn’t have to do anything until 4:00 this afternoon, but the drive home from my work by himself on little sleep isn’t a good thing. He just called me to say he made it. Double sigh!
I put my makeup on in the car, to save time – and I poked myself in the eye with the mascara wand. My hair was sticking up in every direction this morning (it can’t just BEHAVE when I’m in a big hurry???) – so I wet it down, but didn’t take the time to blow it dry. I have no idea what it looks like now. I didn’t even weigh this morning, which is very rare for me. Triple sigh!
And yet, in the midst of everything, I know that God is sitting on His throne, and He is in control.
“I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33, NIV)
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