It was cold in Canada. Let me rephrase that – I was COLD in Canada. Of course, I am cold in Atlanta, so there was reasonable assurance I would be even colder in Canada. I spent my days and nights completely bundled up – and was so thankful that a dear friend bought me long underwear! That really helped. One night, I slept in my socks, long johns, with my flannel pajamas over top, and I was under a sheet, a blanket, a comforter, and a heavy cotton bedspread - doubled over – I had so many layers on top of me that it was difficult to move. And I was still so cold that I just ached. I finally got up in the middle of the night and put my hat on, and then I was able to drift off to sleep. When Dave woke up and saw me the next morning, he just laughed! But I did what I had to do to get (or stay) warm.
It amazes me how easily I take action when I am cold, but how often I have neglected to take action about my weight. When I am cold, I will do WHATEVER is necessary to get warm: snuggle under a blanket, put extra layers on, turn on a heating pad…realistically, the problems and distress caused by being overweight are far more serious than being cold, but again and again and again, I just ignored it. And the health problems that were connected to obesity – forget about that! However, I am really looking at life differently, now. I see my obesity as a serious thing – and every minute of every day I am aware that I do have choices, and slowly but surely I am learning to make the right choices.
People often ask me if I think being cold is a phase that will eventually pass. Honestly, I don’t know – I HOPE so, but if it doesn’t, I will continue to bundle up, take blankets and sweaters with me everywhere I go, and do what I need to do to get or stay warm. I do know, however, that making good choices about the things I put in my mouth is never going to be something that I can relax on – if I want to continue losing down to my goal weight, and if I want to stay as healthy as possible. So again, I will do what I have to do. So, keep praying for me!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
GREAT VACATION!
We had a GREAT time – but it is SO GOOD to be back! I intended to keep a very detailed journal while I was away, but that didn’t happen. So, I will try to spend this week writing about everything that happened.
First of all, NO SEATBELT EXTENDER! I was so very happy about that. But when I got on the plane to come home, I panicked just a little – I asked my husband if he thought I had gained enough weight to need one again. (It is so difficult to get that body image out of my mind!) He patiently (almost) said, “Teri, even if you did gain weight, there is no way that you gained that much.” But the truth is, I actually LOST WEIGHT while I was gone. I did not take a lasix the night before we left, thinking about being on the plane. So that morning, my weight was up a little. This morning – exactly 2 weeks later, my weight was down 4.6 pounds! This says to me, that I am learning to make good choices – no matter what!
One of Dave’s cousins asked me what I was replacing food with – meaning, of course, that for so long, food was such an important part of my life. So if food is no longer playing that important part – what is? I had to think about that for a while, but my answer was, “PEOPLE” – relationships. We had a blast on vacation connecting with people. Email, Facebook, and phone calls are great, but there is NOTHING like being face to face with the people you love! It was wonderful to spend time with our friends and family in Canada. One friend hugged me and said, “There is so much less of you to hug!” Everyone was pretty amazed at the changes in me. But I think the most telling thing happened after church on Sunday. A big group of us went out to lunch. I had my usual little bit – taking at least half of my meal home. A couple of friends were watching me – and commented later that it didn’t seem like I even noticed that I wasn’t eating as much – I didn’t seem to miss it at all. I was focused on laughing and talking with friends – and THAT was the important thing to me. They are right – I don’t miss the food part at all. I sure do miss being with them, though. I’m very glad to be back home – sleeping in my own bed, hugging and loving on my cats – I wish there was a way I could be in both places at once!
First of all, NO SEATBELT EXTENDER! I was so very happy about that. But when I got on the plane to come home, I panicked just a little – I asked my husband if he thought I had gained enough weight to need one again. (It is so difficult to get that body image out of my mind!) He patiently (almost) said, “Teri, even if you did gain weight, there is no way that you gained that much.” But the truth is, I actually LOST WEIGHT while I was gone. I did not take a lasix the night before we left, thinking about being on the plane. So that morning, my weight was up a little. This morning – exactly 2 weeks later, my weight was down 4.6 pounds! This says to me, that I am learning to make good choices – no matter what!
One of Dave’s cousins asked me what I was replacing food with – meaning, of course, that for so long, food was such an important part of my life. So if food is no longer playing that important part – what is? I had to think about that for a while, but my answer was, “PEOPLE” – relationships. We had a blast on vacation connecting with people. Email, Facebook, and phone calls are great, but there is NOTHING like being face to face with the people you love! It was wonderful to spend time with our friends and family in Canada. One friend hugged me and said, “There is so much less of you to hug!” Everyone was pretty amazed at the changes in me. But I think the most telling thing happened after church on Sunday. A big group of us went out to lunch. I had my usual little bit – taking at least half of my meal home. A couple of friends were watching me – and commented later that it didn’t seem like I even noticed that I wasn’t eating as much – I didn’t seem to miss it at all. I was focused on laughing and talking with friends – and THAT was the important thing to me. They are right – I don’t miss the food part at all. I sure do miss being with them, though. I’m very glad to be back home – sleeping in my own bed, hugging and loving on my cats – I wish there was a way I could be in both places at once!
Friday, November 12, 2010
CELEBRATION!
There is much to celebrate today! First of all, it is my last work day before vacation! Secondly, a wonderful lady at work gave me several pairs of jeans. I took them home and washed them – then tried them on. Guess what – I’m wearing a size 20 pair of jeans this morning! And my husband PROMISED me that they are not too tight! They feel great, and I can move and sit – and I even got the zipper up without having to suck in my breath! All of the pants that I bought in July and August are a size 24. This is tangible evidence that I continue to lose! And finally, I have worked on a big project all last week and this week. Wednesday, I turned it in to the CFO of our company. He actually took the time to call me and tell me that I had done an amazing job, and that it looked wonderful! WOW – that makes me REALLY happy!
I am down 171.6 pounds from my biggest, and 111.8 pounds from surgery 37 weeks ago. I’m excited about seeing family and friends in Canada, but a little nervous, too – I have gotten used to the attention down here from everyone, but the changes are drastic for people who haven’t seen me in nearly a year. I hope they are blown away!!!
There is a lot for me to do before I can leave work today – hugs to everyone!
I am down 171.6 pounds from my biggest, and 111.8 pounds from surgery 37 weeks ago. I’m excited about seeing family and friends in Canada, but a little nervous, too – I have gotten used to the attention down here from everyone, but the changes are drastic for people who haven’t seen me in nearly a year. I hope they are blown away!!!
There is a lot for me to do before I can leave work today – hugs to everyone!
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Honoring Veterans
A salute to all the veterans, and active military personnel. A big, heartfelt “THANK YOU” to anyone who has served his or her country. We don’t say it often enough – but we are truly grateful for all you do or have done to protect our freedom and to keep us safe.
I’m sure that there is much I will never understand about what it means to serve in the armed forces. I can’t imagine the sacrifices you make. I can’t fathom how it must hurt to have someone whose freedom you have defended turn around and criticize you for doing your duty. I can’t imagine how it must feel to have to have all four wisdom teeth pulled when you are so far away from home, like one young man from my church experienced this week, while serving in Afghanistan. All I can do is make sure that I say, “Thank You” at every single opportunity.
What makes this even more amazing is that we live in a country where serving is a choice a person makes, not something they are forced to do. And because they make that choice – so many others of us don’t have to. Have you hugged a veteran today?
I’m sure that there is much I will never understand about what it means to serve in the armed forces. I can’t imagine the sacrifices you make. I can’t fathom how it must hurt to have someone whose freedom you have defended turn around and criticize you for doing your duty. I can’t imagine how it must feel to have to have all four wisdom teeth pulled when you are so far away from home, like one young man from my church experienced this week, while serving in Afghanistan. All I can do is make sure that I say, “Thank You” at every single opportunity.
What makes this even more amazing is that we live in a country where serving is a choice a person makes, not something they are forced to do. And because they make that choice – so many others of us don’t have to. Have you hugged a veteran today?
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Happy (or Should I Say "Jolly") Wednesday!
It’s Wednesday already! I can hardly believe how quickly this week is going. I got my hair cut last night, in preparation for my trip – short and sassy, and I LOVE it! My hair grows so fast that it really wasn’t doing what it should be doing – and now it’s back to the look I fell in love with a few weeks ago – just in time for my trip! I’m crossing things off my lists – both at work and at home. Slowly, but surely, we are making progress.
I was talking with my Mom this morning, like I do nearly every morning, and I confessed something to her. I’m still surprised that this is actually working. In my heart of hearts, I had very low expectations. I WANTED it to work, but I was petrified that it wasn’t going to. And some days, I still wonder if this is a dream, a wonderful dream, but a dream nonetheless, and I’m going to wake up and find myself exactly where I was a year ago. I have to say – if this IS a dream, and I ever DO wake up, somebody please shoot me! I don’t want to ever go back there – to the frustration and the depression and the pain of being so grotesquely overweight.
When I was a little girl, I described one of my parents’ friends as “jolly.” They both looked at me kind of funny, and asked me what I thought “jolly” meant. Of course, at that time, the only times I had ever heard the word was around Christmas, and “jolly ol’ Saint Nick.” So, not having any other context, I thought it was a nicer way of saying “fat.” (I mean, no one really wants to call Santa Clause “fat”, right?!) I know in my life, there were plenty of times that someone might have called me “jolly” – or at least something close, like “cheerful” or “happy” or “fun” or “jovial.” But what they saw was really and truly just an act. I tried not to let anyone see the pain – or the heartache – or the self-loathing. This journey has brought about the most amazing change, though. It isn’t an act anymore. I am happier – with myself – and that makes me happier all the way around. So, if I am laughing now – it’s from joy – not because I’m covering up some pain that is so deep I can’t even cry about it. I laugh a lot these days. Maybe I have graduated to “JOLLY!”
I was talking with my Mom this morning, like I do nearly every morning, and I confessed something to her. I’m still surprised that this is actually working. In my heart of hearts, I had very low expectations. I WANTED it to work, but I was petrified that it wasn’t going to. And some days, I still wonder if this is a dream, a wonderful dream, but a dream nonetheless, and I’m going to wake up and find myself exactly where I was a year ago. I have to say – if this IS a dream, and I ever DO wake up, somebody please shoot me! I don’t want to ever go back there – to the frustration and the depression and the pain of being so grotesquely overweight.
When I was a little girl, I described one of my parents’ friends as “jolly.” They both looked at me kind of funny, and asked me what I thought “jolly” meant. Of course, at that time, the only times I had ever heard the word was around Christmas, and “jolly ol’ Saint Nick.” So, not having any other context, I thought it was a nicer way of saying “fat.” (I mean, no one really wants to call Santa Clause “fat”, right?!) I know in my life, there were plenty of times that someone might have called me “jolly” – or at least something close, like “cheerful” or “happy” or “fun” or “jovial.” But what they saw was really and truly just an act. I tried not to let anyone see the pain – or the heartache – or the self-loathing. This journey has brought about the most amazing change, though. It isn’t an act anymore. I am happier – with myself – and that makes me happier all the way around. So, if I am laughing now – it’s from joy – not because I’m covering up some pain that is so deep I can’t even cry about it. I laugh a lot these days. Maybe I have graduated to “JOLLY!”
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Making Lists
I’m a list maker. I admit it. I don’t think there is a 12 Step Program for list makers, but it might not be a bad idea. Getting ready for our trip, I make all sorts of lists: the list for all of the tasks I have to get done at home; the list for everything I need to finish before I leave work on Friday afternoon; the list of things to pack; the list of things to tell our cat sitter (and bird sitter). I enjoy crossing things off my list, and feeling like I’ve accomplished SOMETHING.
But as much as I enjoy making lists, I don’t think I have approached weight loss with the same enthusiasm. Maybe it was because the task before me seemed so daunting: Lose 275 pounds; change my complete attitude toward food; start an exercise program. How does one DO THAT? And since I guess that the real joy is not in MAKING the lists – it’s in crossing things OFF the list, it didn’t make sense to start a list of this magnitude.
But here I am, having lost 61.73% of those 275 pounds. I AM changing my attitude completely toward food. I AM exercising. And my list of accomplished goals is growing. Some have been small, seemingly insignificant things, like seeing my collar bone, or being able to cross my legs. Some have been much more significant, like losing 100 pounds since surgery, or being able to fly without a seatbelt extender (speaking of which, my test for this one will come on Monday – listen for a shout of joy – hopefully – Monday morning sometime after 8:00. If I fasten that seatbelt, I’m pretty sure that everyone in the Atlanta metro area anyway will be able to hear the shout!) Maybe making those lists isn’t such a bad idea, after all!
But as much as I enjoy making lists, I don’t think I have approached weight loss with the same enthusiasm. Maybe it was because the task before me seemed so daunting: Lose 275 pounds; change my complete attitude toward food; start an exercise program. How does one DO THAT? And since I guess that the real joy is not in MAKING the lists – it’s in crossing things OFF the list, it didn’t make sense to start a list of this magnitude.
But here I am, having lost 61.73% of those 275 pounds. I AM changing my attitude completely toward food. I AM exercising. And my list of accomplished goals is growing. Some have been small, seemingly insignificant things, like seeing my collar bone, or being able to cross my legs. Some have been much more significant, like losing 100 pounds since surgery, or being able to fly without a seatbelt extender (speaking of which, my test for this one will come on Monday – listen for a shout of joy – hopefully – Monday morning sometime after 8:00. If I fasten that seatbelt, I’m pretty sure that everyone in the Atlanta metro area anyway will be able to hear the shout!) Maybe making those lists isn’t such a bad idea, after all!
Monday, November 8, 2010
WOW - What a Weekend!
Start with the fact that for the first time in a long, long time, I have lost steadily over the last five days or so. I am officially at 170 pounds total lost – and 110 since surgery almost 37 weeks ago. Yippee! That makes me happy. I have lost 108.75 inches (9 feet, ¾ inch). That makes me happy. And I’m feeling SO MUCH BETTER – the sinus infection seems to have cleared up. (And yes, I will be finishing all of my drugs, just like the doctor ordered.) Also clearing up is the pretty intense gout attack I had over the weekend. More happy!
Saturday, we got our tree all set up – and it is beautiful, even if I do say so myself. We still have lots to decorate, and hopefully we will get most of it done this week – but the tree is the biggest effort, by far. Thanks to our special friends K and C – we got it done in record time! Hope you liked the monkey bread.
We went to a beautiful wedding on Saturday afternoon – and there was an incredible reading, blending Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s, “How do I love thee, let me count the ways” and several Scripture passages. It was beautiful. The reception was at a very nice country club – and the whole thing was quite the event. And the best part? We got to spend time with good friends.
Sunday, of course, was busy, and my husband’s quartet did a great job last night with their CD release concert. All in all, just one of those weekends that leaves you feeling good.
We are in the final countdown before our trip to Canada. Lots and lots to do, and a limited time to get it all done. But we will persevere, and everything will happen, I’m sure!
Saturday, we got our tree all set up – and it is beautiful, even if I do say so myself. We still have lots to decorate, and hopefully we will get most of it done this week – but the tree is the biggest effort, by far. Thanks to our special friends K and C – we got it done in record time! Hope you liked the monkey bread.
We went to a beautiful wedding on Saturday afternoon – and there was an incredible reading, blending Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s, “How do I love thee, let me count the ways” and several Scripture passages. It was beautiful. The reception was at a very nice country club – and the whole thing was quite the event. And the best part? We got to spend time with good friends.
Sunday, of course, was busy, and my husband’s quartet did a great job last night with their CD release concert. All in all, just one of those weekends that leaves you feeling good.
We are in the final countdown before our trip to Canada. Lots and lots to do, and a limited time to get it all done. But we will persevere, and everything will happen, I’m sure!
Friday, November 5, 2010
Feeling Better
The bad news – I definitely DO have a sinus infection. But the doctor gave me lots of drugs, and I have seen remarkable improvement in just one day. The good news – unlike so many times before when I have been sick, this time, I didn’t eat everything in the house in an effort to find something that made me feel better. In fact, I have actually lost weight with this illness, something I don’t EVER remember doing before! (I am the only person I know who can actually gain weight with a stomach virus – apparently even with all the stuff coming OUT, I was still putting more IN.) As of this morning, I am officially down 168.4 pounds – and 108.6 since surgery. I am feeling better, and am confident this will just be a memory in ten days.
A busy, busy weekend planned – we are decorating our tree tomorrow morning, with the help of some friends. A wedding tomorrow afternoon – over to some friends after that – Sunday, church and more decorating, then my husband’s gospel quartet is having a CD release concert. We need to get a start on the decorating part – since we will be in Canada when we usually decorate, and have to have everything done by the first weekend in December for our Open House. But life is good – and it will happen.
I will try to blog while I am gone – but don’t know how much I will get to post. Perhaps I’ll just keep a “diary” while I’m there – and publish it all when I get back.
A busy, busy weekend planned – we are decorating our tree tomorrow morning, with the help of some friends. A wedding tomorrow afternoon – over to some friends after that – Sunday, church and more decorating, then my husband’s gospel quartet is having a CD release concert. We need to get a start on the decorating part – since we will be in Canada when we usually decorate, and have to have everything done by the first weekend in December for our Open House. But life is good – and it will happen.
I will try to blog while I am gone – but don’t know how much I will get to post. Perhaps I’ll just keep a “diary” while I’m there – and publish it all when I get back.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Getting Nervous
We leave for Canada in 12 days, and today it is official: I have a sinus infection. So, I have called the doctor to see what I can do. Best case scenario: He will call in a prescription for something, it will have plenty of time to work, and I will be feeling GREAT by the time I get on the plane. Another scenario: He will insist on seeing me, even though I have this kind of infection repeatedly. But he will see me, give me a prescription for something, and then it will have plenty of time to work, and I will still be feeling GREAT by the time I get on the plane. Worst case scenario: I beg somebody to shoot me and put me out of my misery, and I don’t have to worry about getting on the plane. OK, OK – I’m just kidding, mostly.
Our bodies really and truly are amazing things. Even when I am sick, look at all of the things that keep doing what they are supposed to be doing: my heart keeps pumping, my lungs keep filling up and expelling air, my blood keeps circulating, my eyes keep blinking…the list goes on and on and on.
“For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.” (Psalm 139:13-14, NIV)
I am one of HIS works. I remember seeing a bumper sticker once that read, “God doesn’t make junk!” He made me, so therefore, I can’t be junk! Even on the days I sort of feel like something to be put out with the trash. Thank You, LORD!
Our bodies really and truly are amazing things. Even when I am sick, look at all of the things that keep doing what they are supposed to be doing: my heart keeps pumping, my lungs keep filling up and expelling air, my blood keeps circulating, my eyes keep blinking…the list goes on and on and on.
“For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.” (Psalm 139:13-14, NIV)
I am one of HIS works. I remember seeing a bumper sticker once that read, “God doesn’t make junk!” He made me, so therefore, I can’t be junk! Even on the days I sort of feel like something to be put out with the trash. Thank You, LORD!
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
I'm Siiiiiicccccckkkkkk...
OK – maybe not sick enough to whine about it – but definitely not feeling up to my usual self. What started as a scratchy throat yesterday morning turned into a definite sore throat by yesterday afternoon. Today it hurts to swallow, period. So far, all I have managed are hot liquids. I did gargle with warm salt water this morning, but it didn’t do much. I’m not running a fever, which is good news, but this just isn’t any fun at all.
In my past, I have always used not feeling well as a license to eat whatever I wanted. This time, I’m not doing that. Of course, I want to AVOID swallowing as much as I can, but on a deeper level – I am totally aware that eating what I want will not make me feel better. It will make me feel worse. And then I have all of the emotional garbage on top of the sore throat. I’m doing my best to stay hydrated, and for today, that’s all I really am going to do. I am miles away from where I started this journey. This is real progress.
When I was growing up, I had to be really sick to stay home from school. And on those occasions when I DID stay home, lunch was ALWAYS a cup of bouillon and dry soda crackers. For some people, that might not be a terrible thing, but I dislike soup in general, and bouillon in particular. Knowing what would be served for lunch probably kept me from faking illness – because I had to be really sick to even think about eating bouillon. My only choice in the matter was whether I wanted beef or chicken bouillon. To this day, I will not even have bouillon in my house. My tastes have matured though – I enjoy the occasional cup of soup – even more so if it is homemade.
I’ll try not to whine too much today – and I hope to be feeling better tomorrow!
In my past, I have always used not feeling well as a license to eat whatever I wanted. This time, I’m not doing that. Of course, I want to AVOID swallowing as much as I can, but on a deeper level – I am totally aware that eating what I want will not make me feel better. It will make me feel worse. And then I have all of the emotional garbage on top of the sore throat. I’m doing my best to stay hydrated, and for today, that’s all I really am going to do. I am miles away from where I started this journey. This is real progress.
When I was growing up, I had to be really sick to stay home from school. And on those occasions when I DID stay home, lunch was ALWAYS a cup of bouillon and dry soda crackers. For some people, that might not be a terrible thing, but I dislike soup in general, and bouillon in particular. Knowing what would be served for lunch probably kept me from faking illness – because I had to be really sick to even think about eating bouillon. My only choice in the matter was whether I wanted beef or chicken bouillon. To this day, I will not even have bouillon in my house. My tastes have matured though – I enjoy the occasional cup of soup – even more so if it is homemade.
I’ll try not to whine too much today – and I hope to be feeling better tomorrow!
Monday, November 1, 2010
Taking Stock
Boy, this year has gone faster than I can possibly imagine! It has been a good year with lots of changes, lots of challenges, and lots of progress. There were also tremendous amounts of support and encouragement.
I spent quite a while talking yesterday to a dear friend, who has also had her struggles with self-esteem and weight issues. It occurred to me yesterday that it doesn’t matter whether it is 10 pounds or 300 pounds, the self-esteem struggles are massive. It is so easy to look at the “beautiful” people surrounding us in the media – to compare ourselves, and to come up short. So many of us are looking for a perfect IDEAL – and when we don’t hit that mark, we call ourselves failures, and beat ourselves up.
We fail to realize that different cultures – and different time periods – had very, very different IDEALS. In this country alone, all the way through the 1940’s and even into the 1950’s – the IDEAL woman was curvy. Sometime in the 1960’s, a very small model changed everything – and suddenly every woman wanted to be Twiggy. In some cultures, wealth is measured by weight (the bigger person has enough to eat, so therefore he or she must be wealthy).
Unfortunately – we often use one standard to measure ourselves – and a completely different standard to look at other people. Think about it. What happens when you meet a new person? I ask questions – find out interesting things. I get a sense of who the person is – what their values are – if we have anything in common. I may decide that this is someone I would like to know better – or sometimes, I may decide that I’m really not interested in anything more than being a casual acquaintance. But I do not ever remember making that decision on what they look like, or whether they are carrying a few extra pounds – or a few pounds too little. If I looked at other people with the critical eye I use on myself, people would consider me shallow, and they certainly wouldn’t want to get closer. (Yes, it’s sad, but there ARE people like that in our society. The media encourages that mentality. But the people who mean the most to me are definitely not that kind of person.) I don’t ever want anyone to think that of me – so, if I’m honest, I can’t be that kind of person EVEN WITH MYSELF.
So, my goal, as we close this year, is to be a little kinder to myself – a little gentler with the criticism. And a better person for it.
I spent quite a while talking yesterday to a dear friend, who has also had her struggles with self-esteem and weight issues. It occurred to me yesterday that it doesn’t matter whether it is 10 pounds or 300 pounds, the self-esteem struggles are massive. It is so easy to look at the “beautiful” people surrounding us in the media – to compare ourselves, and to come up short. So many of us are looking for a perfect IDEAL – and when we don’t hit that mark, we call ourselves failures, and beat ourselves up.
We fail to realize that different cultures – and different time periods – had very, very different IDEALS. In this country alone, all the way through the 1940’s and even into the 1950’s – the IDEAL woman was curvy. Sometime in the 1960’s, a very small model changed everything – and suddenly every woman wanted to be Twiggy. In some cultures, wealth is measured by weight (the bigger person has enough to eat, so therefore he or she must be wealthy).
Unfortunately – we often use one standard to measure ourselves – and a completely different standard to look at other people. Think about it. What happens when you meet a new person? I ask questions – find out interesting things. I get a sense of who the person is – what their values are – if we have anything in common. I may decide that this is someone I would like to know better – or sometimes, I may decide that I’m really not interested in anything more than being a casual acquaintance. But I do not ever remember making that decision on what they look like, or whether they are carrying a few extra pounds – or a few pounds too little. If I looked at other people with the critical eye I use on myself, people would consider me shallow, and they certainly wouldn’t want to get closer. (Yes, it’s sad, but there ARE people like that in our society. The media encourages that mentality. But the people who mean the most to me are definitely not that kind of person.) I don’t ever want anyone to think that of me – so, if I’m honest, I can’t be that kind of person EVEN WITH MYSELF.
So, my goal, as we close this year, is to be a little kinder to myself – a little gentler with the criticism. And a better person for it.
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