Carrying Baggage

We are getting ready to go on a trip – Dave’s quartet has a concert down in Florida. So, tonight we will be packing our suitcase with the few things we will need over the next couple of days. And since we are driving, there is a reasonable certainty that our luggage will arrive when and where we do.

If you are flying, however, that is not always the case. One year we flew home to Canada for Christmas. I was not able to take as much time off work as Dave was, so he flew up a few days before me. I was a little nervous about travelling by myself – and I was particularly nervous about going through customs – because this time we flew all the way to Dave’s hometown. I had to change planes in Toronto – and take everything through customs myself. But I did it with no problems. I handled everything fine. Only when I landed in Saint John – my luggage wasn’t with me. A labor dispute with workers in Toronto triggered a “sick out.” And there were no workers to transfer my luggage to the plane that was taking me to my final destination. In fact, nobody on that plane had luggage – it was all sitting on the tarmac, in the rain, back in Toronto. I was fortunate – I was missing some clothes, and a few Christmas presents, but nothing of life or death importance. There were several people who had medications in their baggage. They were in dire straits. The airlines worked hard to get the luggage there for everyone, although it did take two days to arrive. And a few things in the suitcase were ruined, because the dye in the leather had bled onto some of my clothes and never came out. All in all though, nothing too terrible.

When we travel – having our luggage with us is important. But in other matters in our lives, having baggage is not necessarily a good thing. Last night, I had to face some of my eating baggage. Dave is working right now delivering pizzas. He worked from 5:00 until around 11:00 last night. He seems to be enjoying the job, and we need the money. I’m happy that he is doing something. A good friend came over for a while – she will be taking care of our animals while we are away – and she needed to get the garage door opener, etc. We had a good visit – but when she left, I was alone. I don’t mind being alone – I like the quiet, and I like the peace. But historically, that is when I would binge – stuffing anything and everything into my mouth. Last night, I definitely had the urge to do just that. I wasn’t hungry. I ate my supper, so I didn’t NEED to eat. I just WANTED to eat. I was BORED.

Over the past year, I have worked really hard to learn to eat when I need to eat – and to walk away when I want to eat for any other reason. I walked away last night – but there were a few moments when I wasn’t certain I was going to. It was a little unnerving to feel that desire so strongly. The best thing about this kind of baggage, is that I have the choice whether or not to continue carrying it. Dave will be working many nights in the future – and I am sure I will face this issue over and over again. But having successfully faced it once – I have every assurance I will be able to face it again. I know that the prayers of friends and family will help!

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30, NIV)

Making Adjustments

We are now a one-car family. Most of the time, this isn’t a problem. But sometimes we aren’t going in the same direction at the same time, and one or both of us has to adjust our schedule. Dave gets up very early to take me to the van pool stop. If he is working (delivering pizzas) I have to find another way home. These aren’t major adjustments – but something we DO have to think about now, whereas before, I would (and did) just get in the car and go.

The good news about all of this is that we don’t have one car payment, and the car insurance is nearly half what it used to be. We get to spend more time together – time when we can and do talk – time to practice music for both the choir we are singing in at church and the community chorus we sing in. The only down side is that I feel much less independent. I have to plan my life around when and if the car is available. And I have to depend on other people a whole lot more.

My biggest problem is that I LIKE to be independent. I don’t mind helping other people at all – but it’s hard for me to ask for help from others. That spills over into my spiritual life, and my food life, too. A favorite passage comes from Proverbs:

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6, NIV) And even though I believe this passage with all my heart – I must admit that I have a very difficult time putting it into practice. Much like a two year old who insists on dressing herself – I want to do it! I have even been known to throw a temper tantrum (or two – or several) when someone doesn’t let me do it.

Fortunately, God is patient with me. He knows that when I say, “ME DO IT!” that I might fail. But He lets me try anyway. And those times that I do fail, He picks me up, and holds me in His arms, then helps me clean up the mess. Going through this time when I have to depend on other people is a time for me to grow – to really and truly learn to lean on others. And by learning to do that, I will ultimately be learning to lean on HIM.

Coffee in a Cardboard Cup

“The trouble with the world today it seems to me, is coffee in a cardboard cup. The trouble with the affluent society, is coffee in a cardboard cup.” This is the opening line from a song we are singing in the communty chorus to which I belong. It is an upbeat tune – remeniscent of something from the 1920’s, that you might dance the Charleston to. The song goes on to explain that we live in a world that is instant this – and hurry up – and there is no time to enjoy pleasantries and to relax.

My parents came down to spend the night last Friday. Saturday morning over breakfast we were discussing how infrequently we actually sit down at the table to eat. At our house, it only happens when we have company. Most of the time we grab something on the run – eating in a hurry – in front of the television. We don’t sit and talk at the table any more.

A few years ago, we hosted an exchange student from Brazil. She was a speech pathologist there – and wanted to pursue her doctorate in speech pathology, but in order to do so , she needed English. She was here to improve her English skills. She worked in San Paulo, but was from a village outside of that big city. During her stay with us, she was absolutely fascinated with all of the prepared foods we had here. She had never seen biscuits from a can. (I’m sure that there are probably people in our world who didn’t know there was ever a time when biscuits DIDN’T come from a can.) She couldn’t get over the different types of food you could make from a box. She fell in love with Hamburger Helper! One day, she was going to make supper for us – it was one of those days that we were flying around going from here to there in hurry. She went to the store, bought Hamburger Helper in the lasagna flavor, then tried to buy hamburger. Well, the shopping thing was still pretty new to her, and she saw ground beef, ground chuck, ground round – but nothing labeled “hamburger.” She wasn’t sure it was the same stuff. Then she reasoned to herself that lasagna was Italian – and pepperoni was Italian – so that would probably work. (In case you are wondering, pepperoni is NOT a viable substitute for hamburger.) That meal was not so good – but we all had a good laugh about it. In her country – and being familiar with the language – she would have cooked a wonderful meal from scratch, but the instant processed stuff in a box just didn’t make the grade.

Processed food is good in that preparation time has been cut significantly. But there is much about processed food that is not good.
Most instant food is extremely high in sodium, fat, and sugars. And even those that are labeled “healthy” may have hidden dangers. When they cut any one of those three things to make the food “healthier” they usually load up on the other two. It is not uncommon for a frozen entrée to have more sodium in one meal than I am allowed (as a heart patient) in one DAY. Yet we have come to rely on these instant foods.

“He says, ‘Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” (Psalm 46:10, NIV) Maybe it’s time to get off the rollercoaster we call life – and just be still, not in a hurry, not rushing off to the next appointment on our busy schedule. Maybe it’s time we slowed down – returned to a simpler lifestyle – and paid attention to the things around us. Maybe it’s time we listened to God’s voice.

The Rest of My Life, One Day at a Time

This past Sunday, our preacher started his sermon with this story: A little girl was learning to tie her shoes. She worked diligently every day for weeks, her little face scrunched up as she concentrated on getting it right. Finally, one day it happened! Her parents were so proud and excited for her – she did it! Then she started crying. When they asked what was wrong, she said through her tears, “Now I have to tie my shoes for the rest of my life!”

There is a quote, which says, “How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you are on.” (I tried, but the only source I can find says this is Zall’s second law. I do not know who Zall is, or why he has laws.) But the saying is true, nonetheless. If you are the person WAITING – that minute seems like forever.

This could also apply to a lifetime. A lifetime is not nearly long enough to love somebody – parents, children, spouse, or friends. But a lifetime seems far too long when you are dealing with a chronic illness, or the pain of losing someone you love, or for some, guilt about something.

There are a number of things I wish that I could do just one time and forget about it: tying shoes, cleaning the bathroom, doing dishes, dusting (do you see a pattern here?), and of course, the biggest thing on this list for me is losing weight. I have lost a lot of weight in my lifetime – much more than the 191.4 pounds in the past year and a half. Yet somehow, I always seemed to find it again.

This time, I am truly committed to a LIFETIME of keeping this weight off. That means that I have to make choices for the rest of my life. While it might be true that eating one donut won’t make me gain all of this weight back – nor will eating two donuts – I know if I go back to eating the way I ate before my surgery, I will eventually become what I was before my surgery. It will be so much easier not to eat the first donut, than to go through the heartache of being morbidly obese again. Much better to refrain at the beginning, than to face the chronic and debilitating physical problems that come from being overweight. Sometimes, when I think about it, I feel like that little girl. I don’t know if I can do this for the rest of my life – I don’t even know if I WANT to do this for the rest of my life! But if I look at today, and only today, I’m sure I can do it! “One day at a time, sweet Jesus, that’s all I’m asking from you.”

All for Love

Since it is Valentine’s Day, I thought I would talk about love – but not the love that the world is celebrating today. Yesterday in our Bible School class, we discussed the first part of John 12. “Six days before the Passover, Jesus came to Bethany, where Lazarus lived, whom Jesus had raised from the dead. Here a dinner was given in Jesus’ honor. Martha served, while Lazarus was among those reclining at the table with him. Then Mary took about a pint of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus’ feet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume.” (John 12:1-3, NIV)

There is much to see in these few verses. But the underlying theme is the love that Mary had for Jesus – and what she was willing to forfeit to show that love.

First of all – Mary gave up any sense of her own importance. Washing visitor’s feet was customary in these times. The standard mode of transportation was walking. I can imagine what a person’s feet looked like at the end of the day, whether he was barefoot or in sandals, after walking the dusty roads of that area. The task of washing someone’s feet usually fell on the lowest servant. (Which is what makes Jesus washing the disciples feet a few days later so important.) Yet Mary, sister of Martha the hostess and Lazarus the host, did this for Jesus herself. She didn’t see this job as beneath her – she did it out of love.

Next, we read later that the perfume she used was worth about a year’s wages. That would be like me spending $35,000+ on about a pint of perfume to anoint someone. It’s difficult to think about it in those terms. Even if I were a billionaire, I’m not sure that I would take that kind of money to use on someone’s feet. But Mary didn’t think about the cost – even though she was criticized for “wasting” – she did it out of love.

Finally, she didn’t care about tradition or about propriety. An adult woman in those times was expected to keep her head covered, and those who did not do this were labeled “harlot.” Mary unbound her hair, and wiped Jesus’ feet with it. Let people say what they would – she did it out of love.

So many times, our ideas about love are shaped by what the media tells us. Or what our friends and family and co-workers tell us. Sometimes, we even weave elaborate, romantic fairy tales inside our heads about what we think love is. The truth is, real love doesn’t come from any of those places – real love comes only from God.

I pray that you don’t get hung up on what our society tells you that you NEED this Valentine’s Day. Rather, I wish everyone a Wonderful Valentine’s Day – filled with the love of God – and spilling out of your life to touch the lives of everyone around you.

My HERO's

You don’t have to drive on Atlanta highways very long before you spot one of the many HERO (Highway Emergency Response Operators) units. These are brave people who patrol Atlanta highways – and when they find someone in trouble – with a stalled vehicle, an accident, a flat tire – they pull behind them and are able to block traffic and offer assistance.

Sometimes it seems that this weight loss journey is a lot like driving in Atlanta rush hour traffic, complete with accidents, potholes, and stalls. I am truly blessed that I have my own HERO’s.

H – My heroes are HERE. They are HANDY (even if they live halfway across the country). Just like on the highway, my heroes won’t do me any good if they cannot be here for me.

E – My heroes are ENTHUSIASTIC and ENCOURAGING – especially on those days that I’m feeling a little down or when I’ve hit a plateau and nothing seems to be moving.

R – My heroes are REAL and RESPECTFUL. They share my struggle with me, and many have had their own struggle with weight and with food issues. They don’t downplay what I have already accomplished.

O – My heroes are OUTSPOKEN and masters of OVATION. I have my own cheering squad and they aren’t afraid to let me know they are cheering for me!

I want to be a HERO for other people – passing along what has been so richly given to me!

“He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him. Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:10, 11, NIV)

Snow...AGAIN?

I woke up this morning to a lovely sight – snow covering pretty much everything I could see, except for the streets, sidewalks, and driveways, thankfully. Here in Atlanta, it is unusual to have even one “snow” event per winter, and this winter we have had THREE in just a few weeks. One of those events was major – and stayed on the ground over a week in some places. Very unusual for these parts.

Interestingly enough – this snow did not seem to cause the widespread panic BEFORE it happened that most snow causes here. We’re not quite as complacent about it as people in Minnesota or Canada, but this time there seemed to be a “been there – done that” attitude. Since the streets did not seem to be affected at all by any of this – traffic was normal this morning.

I spent much of my life with the “been there – done that” attitude about my weight. I KNEW that I needed to lose weight – I KNEW it would be healthier – I KNEW a lot of things, but I didn’t DO anything about it. Doctors talked to me – family talked to me – friends talked to me – and I listened with one ear – then kept doing exactly what I had been doing all along: ignoring the problem. And unlike snow in the driveway, which will eventually melt if you do nothing, my weight problem did not go away.

I can’t change anything about how long it took me finally to get it together about my weight. It happened when I got sick and tired of dealing with all the side effects of being fat. And while I wish with all my heart that I had done something sooner, I can certainly celebrate that I have NOW done something about it. Today I’m down a total of 190.2 pounds! YIPPEE!