Through the Tears

She is so strong.  A young mother has faced a horrible illness.  She has pumped her body full of poison to remove the disease from her body.  But it came back, and now she is facing surgery that will removed the parts of her body that have been ravaged by this infirmity.  She has tried to be tough for her two young children, for her friends who don’t know what to say, and for her church family that has admired her grace through this unbearable ordeal.  But last night it was too much.  We pulled up next to her in the parking lot of the church building where our community chorus practices.  I knew just by looking at her that something was wrong, so as we simultaneously stepped out of our cars, I just opened my arms to hug her.  And this brave, beautiful, resilient woman collapsed into my arms and started sobbing.  My heart broke alongside hers as we shared tears. She cried until she didn’t have any more tears, her body shaking with pent up emotion.  Eventually we were joined by several other women in the chorus – all of us standing in the parking lot – supporting a sister who was hurting so much.

Afterwards, she repeatedly apologized for breaking down.  She said she has tried so hard to hold everything together.  Even in the middle of everything she is going through, she is thinking first and foremost of the other people in her life.  It is not an act – she knows God’s peace intimately – and trusts Him completely.  Still there are many emotions to dealing with a chronic, and potentially fatal, illness.  What will happen to her kids?  How can I explain this them?  Why is this happening to me? 

Our bodies were not made to hold in those feelings.  And while I admire and understand her desire to be strong for everyone else, I also know that to take care of herself, she needs somewhere safe to let those emotions out.  Last night, I was honored to be that place.  We talked for a long time after practice, and I encouraged her to continue to let those feelings out – whether it was with me or with someone else – because she cannot be strong for everyone else and focus on beating this at the same time. 

I have not faced this disease, so in some ways, I don’t understand.  But I have faced my own monsters, and done exactly what she has tried to do.  I put on my “church mask” – and smiled and said that everything was “fine” – when in reality all I wanted to do was curl up in bed and pull the covers over my head.  I didn’t want to burden anyone – I was the person who always did for others.  How could I possibly ask anyone to do anything for me?  But God worked on my heart – and finally I was able to see that sometimes I need to accept humbly from other people – to give them the chance to reach out, and be useful, and to know that wonderful feeling of being there for someone else. 

My Dad has preached a series of sermons on what he calls the “one another” passages:

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”  (1 Thessalonians 5:11, NIV)

“Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters.”  (Hebrews 13:1, NIV)

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds…” (Hebrews 10:24, NIV)

“Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.”  (Colossians 3:16, NIV)

“Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.”  (1 Peter 3:8, NIV)

“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God.  Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.”  (1 John 4:7, NIV)

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”  (Ephesians 4:32, NIV)

“Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.”  (1 Peter 5:14, NIV)

This is not a comprehensive list of the “one another” passages, but it is interesting to note that nowhere in any of these scriptures, does it say, “TERI these are only for you.”  These are given to everyone – and in order for me to fully obey them, I need to also let other people have the opportunity to respond.