What a Weekend!

It was a GREAT weekend!  I really enjoyed my birthday dinner.  My Mom did a great job cooking, as usual, and I got to bring home leftovers!  I got to spend time with family – and a dear friend who is like family.  I spent my birthday money on some foundation garments (otherwise known as “unmentionables”). 

But the best part of my weekend really didn’t have anything to do with my birthday at all.  A few weeks ago, I blogged about the death of a dear friend.  Her husband came up to my parents to celebrate my birthday dinner with us.  He came to the house first, while we waited for Dave to get home from work so that we could go to Hiram.  We sat and talked for a while, and he brought out a small box.  He told me again how much he and his wife thought of me, and handed me the box, saying that she really wanted me to have what was inside. 

To my absolute astonishment, there were two rings:  one with emeralds and diamonds, and one with rubies and diamonds.  They were beautiful!  I was blown away by the generosity that would give them to me!  Their value to me is much more than whatever monetary value could be assigned to them.  These were a part of my dear friend, and would be precious and treasured, even if they were only costume jewelry.

I have always thought of myself as a tomboy – and until recently the thought of being a “girlie girl” terrified me.  I have long had issues with my femininity – and maybe it is that I didn’t feel worthy of being female?  Maybe it’s because I have never had much success with womanly wiles – batting my eyes, flirting, teasing.  Maybe it’s because my self-esteem was so low that I could only see myself as sort of a pretend woman, afraid that someone would discover my secret that I don’t even know how to BE a woman.

Whatever the reason – I have never been one for fine jewels.  Dave has tried to buy me things like that, but I have never worn them.  I laughed and said that I much prefer “gypsy-harlot” jewelry.  (That’s my invented term for the dangly, sparkly costume jewelry I’m fond of wearing.)  The truth is, as my weight has dropped, my self-esteem has gone up; and as my self-esteem has gone up, I find myself much more inclined to wear jewelry EVERY DAY.  I say all of this to explain what happened when I opened the box and saw those beautiful rings.  I was touched that they cared – and I was honored that they would give me something so precious.  I tried them on – and both rings fit perfectly.  And all of a sudden, I’m not afraid to wear something so beautiful.  I will wear one of these rings every day for the rest of my life.  My gratitude for this gift goes far beyond the actual jewelry – in accepting this gift, I have finally accepted something inside of me.  I don’t know how to say “Thank You” for that.