I'm Not Worthy

We watched a GREAT movie last night – “The King’s Speech.”  Parts of it really resonated with me – particularly when it came to light that the main character felt he was not worthy to be king because of a severe speech impediment.  (OK – if you haven’t seen it – that is ALL you are getting from me – but watch it!)

I have spent most of my life feeling like I was not worthy – mainly due to my weight.  I’m not worthy to get attention.  I’m not worthy to be happy.  I’m not worthy to be loved.  I’m not worthy to wear pretty clothes.  I’m not worthy to… _______________________ (you can fill in the blank with just about anything.)  And, because I wasn’t “worthy” – I put a lot of my life on hold. 

I have missed so much because I didn’t feel worthy.  Yesterday, at lunch with my Dad for Father’s Day, I asked everyone to name one thing on their “bucket list.”  The answers were varied, and the discussion was interesting, to say the least.  I’ve been thinking about my bucket list lately – and right at the top is to finish my novel.  I want to travel to Europe and to Japan.  I want to hold a koala bear.  I want to dance under the stars.  My bucket list is long.

You know what – I don’t have to wait until I reach a certain weight to start doing the things on my list.  I don’t have to wait until I look a certain way before I start!  I can just start – right here, right now.  Some of the things on my list will have to wait until my financial picture improves.  But I can start planning – and dreaming – and collecting ideas.

Yesterday, Dave’s quartet sang at our old congregation.  It was wonderful to see everyone there.  I had two comments repeated over and over to me – in varying forms.  “You look 20 years younger” and “I can wrap my arms all the way around you now!”  It was a good day, being with people we love so dearly.

It doesn’t really matter if I think I’m worthy – what matters is what God thinks about me.  And He proved how much He loves me, as this passage from Romans shows:

“Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die.  But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”  (Romans 5:7-8, NIV)