A Little Peeved - and a LOT Relieved

I got the much-anticipated test results back yesterday.  I was grateful that they came back earlier than anticipated.  The number they were looking at was 71 – slightly lower than the normal range of 75-115.  So, for now anyway, the doctor wants me to stay on my current medications (YAY!), drink more water (more than the 128 – 160 ounces I currently drink every day), and continue with diet and exercise.  All of this is good news, in my mind, anyway.

I have two observations about this whole experience.  The first is that it really irritates me that the doctor’s office uses words like “kidney failure” to describe anything less than genuine kidney failure.  I am not usually inclined to blow off a test that the doctor recommends, unless I have reason to believe that the insurance will not cover it – and I don’t have the money to pay for it.  If it is something truly serious, by all means use language that will convey that – so that I (and other people) do not take it lightly.  But if further testing is only necessary to clarify some test results, please do NOT make it sound like I’m dying! 

The second is personal – once again, I have worried about something that absolutely did not come to pass – wasting my energy – wasting dear friends’ time – and, working myself up over nothing.  I’m nearly 49 years old, and I STILL haven’t figured this one out yet.  Even if the very worst had happened – I couldn’t change it by worrying about it.  I couldn’t undo the damage.  I couldn’t change the possible outcome of stopping my medications.  So why worry about it at all?  Why not, uh, I don’t know, PRAY about it and then leave it with God???  Why not say that God is in control and then relax about it?  I often SAY that my God is bigger than all the stuff in my life – but far too many times, I don’t ACT like I believe He is bigger. 

I wish that I could say I’m totally done with WORRY.  But I’m human – and I know that despite my best intentions, I will almost certainly worry again.  So, those times when I’m all caught up in the anxiety – I give my friends and family permission to remind me of my desire to not waste my time - and theirs!  (Only once, though – more than that and I might get the tiniest bit testy about it.)  And thanks to those who remained calm while I was freaking out – over nothing.